Strictly Kids

Chapter 4

They were all down at the star bar.
Neil. We heard you both last night
Ali. Who
Gorks. Kev and stace.
Stace. Don't know what you're talking about
Kat. The fact that you and mr clifton had a little bit of fun last night
Kev. No idea what your on about
Neil. Kev I've known you over 20 years. I know when you're lying
Kev. Well it's nothing to do with-
Stace. Fine we did just leave us alone
Ke. Ok maybe it is something to do with you
They all laughed and then Dianne ran and jumped up at Kevin. Luckily he caught her and he spun her round.
Di. Weeeeeeee. I miss you
Kev. Missed you two dotty
Di. Where's auntie stacey.
Stacey crept up behind her and tickled her
Stace. Boo
Di. Miss you auntie stace
Stace. Missed you too darlin
Kevin put her down and she ran and sat on Fayes knee.
Joe. Uncle kev
Kev. Oh hiya joe. What's up bud.
Joe. You having a baby?
Kev. I can't have a baby anyway
Joe. I mean is auntie stace
Stace. No why
Joe. Everyone keeps saying you want a baby
Kev. We do mate but not yet
Joe. Daddy said that you was calling it neil if it was a boy and katya if it was a girl
Stace. Well your daddy is a little fib and makes up a lot of stories
Joe. What like when he said that it wasn't really a magic wand that was going in her mouth it was uncle Kevins
Neil. Hang on that was a secret joe
Kev. What has he told you joe
Joe. I don't know what your talking about
Neil. Yessss
Kevin. Neil!
Neil ran around the corner and Kev being faster than Neil caught him and tackled him to the floor and all the little lads came and jumped on them both
Kev. Control your children!!!!
Jan. Come on kids leave the idiots alone
Kids. Nooooo!!!!!
Then all the pro boys went and jumped on them
Neil. Control your husbands!!!!!!!
Girls. Noooooo!!!!
Kat. For once it's not you I'm having to control neil.
Kev. Right unless you all get them off of us then me and neil are gonna get drunk and show you all up at the tour
They all jumped off of then and the two went back to their partners.
Neil. I'm still gonna get drunk
Kev. Me too
Stace. No your not because if you do I won't have a child with you
Kev. But
Stace. No buts i don't want to be shown up and neither does anyone else here.
Kev. Fine
He pouted and crossed his arms.
Stace. Oh give up you look like a right morngy git.
He uncrossed his arms and smiled
Kev. Better?
They all laughed and walked into the arena
Frosty. Here they come. Late again as usual. What's your excuse this time
Kev. Basically me and neil were crushed by all the little lads and then the pro lads
Frosty. Girls really?
They all nodded and he just laughed.
Frosty. My god you should all be comedians
Neil. OMFG we should. The kids could all be part as well and Kev could be morngy and then we would give dianne to him and he would be happy and then we'd all argue over whether he had bribed her and then they would all pile on us.
Frosty. Do you know what neil. That's actually not a bad idea. We could give people an insight as to what happens when your together but not dancing.
Thy all agreed that tonight after they had danced they would give them a little snippet of what happens when they aren't dancing
Skip to time of comedy thing
Kev. Right so who here wants to know what we do when we aren't dancing
Nearly everyone raised their hands
Ali. We've decided that if it's ok with you guys we're gonna take a little bit more of your one and show you with our kids what happens when we are together but not dancing.
Neil. And all of this normally happens outside the arena we are performing at so yesterday it was Glasgow so kids come here.
The kids all knew what was happening
Kev. So basically because me and stacey are amazing we taught little Dianne here how to dance count and get ready all by herself within a da and she's not even or child she's Faye and pashas.
Stace. Right dianne can you show everyone how high you can count
Dianne counted up to twenty and then Di the jive kicks and Charleston swivels and the crowd clapped
Neil. And then in the middle of Glasgow Kevin and dianne were inseparable so we were arguing over whether he had bribed her or not and he wouldn't let go of her. So Stacey said that he wasn't allowed his own child if he didn't put her down but-
Pasha. She wouldn't move anyway. Dotty come her
Di. No
Faye. Dotty come here.
Di. No
Ali. Di come here
Di. No
Kev. Dot come here.
And she hugged his legs like before and they all laughed
Gorka. And then I told all the younger kids about how babies are made. Why don't you tell them all JoJo.
JoJo. So a man sticks his
Frosty. Hang on you lot. I don't think so
Neil. No it's not that version
JoJo. The man sticks his magic wand in her moth and then when the baby has grown a magician comes and magics it out
Grazi. But then uncle Neil said that there was definitely something going in her mouth but we still don't know what he meant
The crowd all burst out laughing and neil took a bow
Joe. Then daddy said that it wasn't really a magic wand going in auntie Staceys mouth it was uncle Kevins
Kev. So now folks let's move swiftly onwards
Crowd. TELL US TELL US TELL US
Kev. Joe choose carefully here. Listen to them or me
Joe. He said it was uncle Kevins willie going in her mouth
Kevin put joe over his shoulder and walked backstage and frosty followed them laughing
Frosty. What happened there then Kev
Kev. I think you know
Joe. Daddy told me a secret but I told everyone. Did you know what it was uncle frosty.
Frosty. No why don't you and your uncle kev explain
Kev. Frosty......
Joe. So basically daddy said that it wasn't really a magic wand in her mouth but it was uncle Kevins willie
Kevin walked back onstage and everyone jumped on him
Kev. I'm dying ere. I've got over twenty people lying on me I'm going to die.
Stace. Stop exaggerating Kev
The crowd carried on laughing
Kev. FROSTYYYYY!!!! CRAIGGGG!!! BRUNOOOO ok maybe not Bruno but Craig frosty kinda need some help here.
Bruno came and jumped on top of everyone else and so did frosty but Craig pulled all the lads off.
Craig. You should be able to get the girls off right kev. Just give them one of your dreadful pick up lines. That's what scared Karen away."
The crowd all took a deep breath in and all the girls got off of him and he just walked back stage with stacey following him as well as Karen.
Staceys PoV
"Is he ok?" "I don't know Karen. I don't think so." "Right I'll go and talk to Craig and you talk to kev." "Ok but you need to tell him why you split from him. He's happy for you he just needs to know that Craig was lying. He was lying right?" She nodded. "Yeah it just wasn't working. I still love him and always will just not the same as I used to." I gave her a hug and she went to find Craig and I went to go and talk to kev. "Kev darlin." "You ok baby?" I nodded. "I should be asking you the same question." "I'm ok I guess." "Kevin Clifton don't you lie to me." "Fine I'm not. I'm not I feel horrible about myself and me head is all over the place." "Hey it's ok. Even Karen told me that's not what happened. He's just trying to get on your nerves baby. You've got to ignore him." "Ye well whatever he's tryin it's working." "Aww baby come here." I went and sat next to him and he rested his head on my shoulder and I just smiled. "I love you KingKev." "Love you too baby." We fell asleep and soon enough we heard the other pros walk in and the kids.
Nobody's PoV
"Right umm me and janette will take the kids out because I don't think they want to be bombarded by questions when they wake up. Gorks you staying or?" "Ye I'll stay." "Ok. Just tell us when they've woken up a bit and we'll come back." "Ok." "Hey kev. You gonna wake up mate." Neil shook Kevins shoulder and he stirred a bit. "Huh?" "I said you going to get up now mate." "Sure. Stace come on baby." She slowly woke up and he gave her a hug. "Hiya gorks." "Alright kev?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Do you even remember." "What?" "Craig Karen." "Oh that I'm gonna knock his head off of his fucking shoulders." Craig walked in. "Whose gonna do what to who?"