ROUGH DRAFT of Loser || WlW

Thirty-Nine

 "So, you think Kyle is killing people?" Zach shoves a bite of egg into his mouth. "I can't keep up anymore."

I nod, without hearing what he's saying. After the incident at the store, we went to another grocery shop down the road and Brittany bought all our groceries while I waited in the car. My dad came home this morning and said the mechanic closed the shop when he went in to get his oil changed. I've made it impossible to live in this town as a Taylor.

I've been chasing cheerios around in my bowl for ten minutes. I'm surprised so much of the soggy breakfast is left. "That's what Hodge thinks." I shake my head. "He said Kyle is trying to cover everything up." The response is late.

Zachary lifts his eyebrows at me.

"I... Um." A hopeless chuckle escapes my lips.

"What?" He says and wipes his mouth with a napkin. "Let it out. Maybe it will spark some new thoughts." Zach leans back in his chair. He looks skinnier than when he first came home. My eyes flick to his pale forearms, a habit I developed sometime when I was a kid to check if he's using again.

"We were reading this book in AP Psych at the beginning of the year." I run a hand through my fiery hair. It's grown so much without me realizing it. "It was about this kid who developed an alternate persona and would commit these heinous acts without knowing anything about it."

"Come on." Zachary runs his tongue across his teeth. "Let go of that bullshit." He grabs a toothpick from the counter behind him. "Everyone knows you didn't kill anyone." He shrugs. "Well, everyone but you."

"Think about it, Zach," I say. "I was the last person with Claire. I was the last person with Grace." I shiver. "What if Kyle's right?" I lean forward, glance at my dad's bedroom, and whisper, "I've been passing out more frequently, and then there was that night when I hallucinated that mom was in the house."

I stand from the table and take my bowl and his plate as I head to the kitchen. "You know, I saw her the other day," I say and place the dishes in the sink.

Zachary's chair drags against the tile as he shoots to his feet. "In real life or in your head?"

I sigh. "Real life, jerk."

"Did you call the police?"

I shake my head. "It wasn't my first priority. I thought she was going to attack me." I lean against the kitchen counter. "She kept saying she'd escaped."

He blows a breath out through his teeth, "Yeah, no shit."

I laugh. "That's what I said." We're quiet for a minute, both of us staring at the ground. "You know, you look like her a lot. Kinda freaks me out," I joke.

I'm smiling, waiting for him to joke back when he rolls his eyes and starts toward the living room. "Fuck off, Jordan." He shakes his head.

"What the hell, Zach. Are you using again?" I follow him. "Because you're acting like an asshole."

He shakes his head and grips his shaggy brown hair. "Sorry." It's half-hearted and quiet.

I'm about to ask him what's going on when Dad rushes out of his bedroom, still gripping his phone as he says, "You're both here. Great." He pushes me toward the couch. "Jordan, sit down."

"What's going on?" I ask. The knot in my stomach is dissolved by the smile on his face.

He holds his hands out, bracing us for news. "I've been keeping it a secret but I applied for a promotion a few months ago and they just called me." He pauses for dramatic effect. "I got it." He lets out a breathless laugh. "I got the promotion."