ROUGH DRAFT of Loser || WlW

Fifty

 My phone rings. I fumble to silence it and shove it in my pocket.

"So, you haven't seen her since then?" Grace asks, nodding her chin toward the spot on the table where my phone is.

I shake my head. "You can't imagine what it feels like to be at fault for putting her life in danger like that."

Her cheeks flush red.

"Don't get me wrong." I trace the swollen stitches in my abdomen with my fingertips. "I put you in danger too. It's just..." I freeze, not knowing which words to put next. How do I put it lightly, that I don't feel guilty for almost getting her killed when I can't stand the sight of Brittany?

"I brought it on myself, I know." She's nodding, her eyes focused on her straw as she twirls it around in her soda.

"You didn't." I shake my head. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Everything comes out so slow since I got out of the hospital. I've been triple-checking what I say. If I tell Grace that Brittany is a better friend will she snap and murder Brittany in her sleep?

I rub my forehead.

No, she won't. That's what Dr. Perry has been teaching me for the last few days but the progress is nonexistent.

"Hey." Grace wraps her hand around mine. "Where are you?"

I sigh. "Just overthinking." I let out a half-hearted chuckle. "They never found his body, you know?"

She nods. "I heard about it on the news. Maybe the water pushed him downstream. I'm sure they'll find him." When I don't say anything, she tries to change the subject. "Today's the big day, huh?" She takes a sip of her drink.

I nod once. "Unfortunately."

My mom's trial was re-evaluated since Zachary admitted he was the one who tried to murder me. She's being released today and since I'm her only family, she's moving in until I graduate. A familiar wave of nausea runs through my body.

Grace's words come in as a murmur at first until I realize I'm zoning.

"So, I guess I just wanted to say I'm sorry." I catch the end of her sentence.

"Sorry for what?" I ask.

She forces a half-smile. "Sorry I let my boss write the article about you. Sorry I left when Zach was trying to kill us all. I just knew he was going to kill me and I thought you guys would find a way out."

I nod.

She takes my hand in hers again and leans over the table. "I really like you Jordan and maybe if we met on different terms, things would have been great. Give me a call sometime when you go off to college and maybe we can grab coffee?"

I force a smile. We exchange our goodbye and she wraps her arms around my neck. "You should talk to Brittany," she says in my ear as I hug her back. "She probably really misses you."

I nod again, but I can't say anything. Just the thought of Brittany makes me tear up.

I make my way through the parking lot to my dad's old Honda. The vehicle that started this whole thing. The drive is quiet. I don't listen to music. All the channels are preset to my dad's favorites and I can't bring myself to change them.

I pull into the driveway and stare at the house for a moment before checking the time. My mom should be inside. Letting out a sigh, I get out of the car and make my way to the front door. It's unlocked.

My mom is in the kitchen, doing something with the sink. I can't pull my eyes from her as the usual suffocating fear fills my chest. My dad's keys slip from my grasp and hit the tile with a rattle.