Perhaps (Book 1) | ✔

ACT II - Scene 7

Accent Academy — Professor Lee's Classroom

I was dreading school on Monday.

Professor Lee had taken me home Halloween night after my legs had stopped shaking enough for me to stand. He was very careful not to lay a hand on me the entire time. The rational part of me knew that he was just trying to be respectful, but the irrational part of me wondered if he wasn't touching me because he was disgusted by me; by what I had told him, and by what he had seen. I felt so...dirty. Tainted. I felt like everyone could see what had happened to me, like I was wearing a giant billboard broadcasting it. And I felt like such a slut whenever I would think about how I had wanted to lose myself in Riley to forget someone else.

As I had requested, though, he told no one.

I sat in the back of his classroom that day, knowing that when the hour was up, I would only have an few hours left before rehearsal started.

A few hours left before I had to come face-to-face with Riley.

He had called me the morning after, but I had ignored it. I had caught sight of the pictures we had taken before going to my dressing room, and I had almost deleted them. Looking at his smiling face next to my smiling face made me feel sick—but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead, I just turned my phone off, and stuffed it in my nightstand drawer where I wouldn't see it.

I couldn't focus on the lecture. I'd been unable to focus on any of my classes that day; and, for the first time ever, I had skipped my choreography class because I didn't feel like dancing. I had lied to the teachers whose classes I did attend, telling them that my parents had been sick over the weekend and that I thought I was coming down with whatever they'd had. But I knew that I couldn't lie to Professor Lee.

"We were supposed to have your Chapter Eleven quiz today." His voice cut through my thoughts, and I turned my eyes up to him. I'd completely forgotten to do my reading for this class. I watched as he let out a sheepish laugh. "However, I forgot the bring the quizzes. They're still in my office. So we'll just have it on Wednesday." His eyes slid over to me as his smile faded, and I knew that he hadn't actually forgotten the quiz papers in his office.

He was delaying the quiz for me.

I bowed my head as tears filled my eyes.

Don't be so nice to me. I don't deserve it.

When he dismissed class, I didn't hang around for my usual good-byes. I pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head and walked towards the auditorium. It was cold out today, like all the warmth had been sucked out of the world. It had rained constantly since Sunday morning, and it was threatening to start again. When had the weather decided to reflect how I felt?

I soon stood outside of my dressing room, and I hesitated going inside for several minutes. Memories of Halloween night were threatening to overwhelm me. My heart thudded hard against my rib cage, echoing in my head and almost giving me a headache. I blinked back the new tears and reached for the doorknob with shaking hands.

My dressing room looked just as it usually did: everything was neat and tidy and in its place. There was no sign that the events of that night had even happened. I dropped my backpack on the couch, and sat down at my vanity, staring at my reflection. I looked like complete crap. My hair was a mess. I hadn't bothered to brush it that morning after washing it. I had dark circles under my eyes, which were bloodshot; and my skin looked washed out and pale, almost sickly-looking. I looked away from the mirror, disgusted.

How was I going to face Riley?

What was I going to say?

What was he going to say?