The Hard Doubled Life

No Dirty For Me

Amanda’s Pov.

We went to Andrew’s dorm because I didn’t have the key to mine. Why? Because Parisa took her keys and I thought I was going to come back with her. :P

He was lying down on his bed so I sat on the next bed.

“So…. Who’s going first?” I asked.

“Why are you here, Amanda?” Andrew asked.

“Why are you here, Andrew?” I asked switching things on him.

He shook his head, “Don’t change the topic.”

“I’ll answer you if you answer me.”

He sighed in defeat knowing I wouldn’t talk unless he did first. “I got into some trouble after Lily’s… you know… and it got me here.”

“Trouble?” I asked confused.

“I joined in a gang and did some dirty work and it got me sent to this school.” He said flatly.

I nodded staying quiet.

“Now why are you here?” Andrew pressed.

I shook my head, “How am I supposed to tell you why I’m here when I haven’t seen or talked to you in 6 years. The last time I saw you, you were leaving the campus for good and we were 10. 10 years old, Andrew!” My voice cracked at the end.

“And the last time I saw you was 4 years ago at Lily’s funeral” Andrew cracked.

I looked at him confused.

“I was at the funeral, Amanda.”  He said.

I shook my head and held the locket around my neck, “Then why didn’t I see you? Why didn’t you come talk to me?”

“I didn’t want anyone to see me and I wanted to talk you, I did but I didn’t want to cause you anymore pain by reminding you what happened. That Lily was gone. I thought if you saw me it would all come crashing down on you.”

Tears were threatening to spill but I kept trying to blink them back, I needed to stay strong, “You know at that time, that was when I needed you the most. There was no one there that understood. I hated myself for so long because of what happened and you weren’t there to tell me it was alright and that it was or wasn’t my fault.” I said finally letting the tears fall.

Andrew hugged me and held me tight, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. Nicole said that you were in a bad state and I didn’t want to make it worse.”

“Screw Nicole.” I said weakly.

There was silence for bit.

“Well it’s alright now. The past is the past. What happened wasn’t your fault and I don’t blame you for anything. You took care of her for me and that was enough.”

I just stayed in his hold letting the tears silently fall and held on the locket tight.

After the tears stopped and dried I broke out of his hold.

I was holding the locket in a death grip and I’m sure Andrew noticed because he took my hand and waited for me to let go of the necklace. I let go and his eyes lit up as he saw it.

“Is this…” He trailed up.

I nodded and he opened up the locket to see the familiar pictures.

There was a short silence.

“Where’d you find this?” He asked finally.

“I didn’t. Lily did. She was wearing it that day and I took it off her and put it on me. I-I’m sorry if you didn’t want me to take it off her. I..” I started to say.