A More Personal Approach

Remember Me

My mother was old and senile to say the least. Yet she was as strong as an ox, even on her deathbed.
"I once knew a girl who never quite found her place in the world. She exceeded at many things but life just didn't seem to want her."
"Mom, stop talking. You'll work yourself into a frenzy and then your heart may stop," I warned. I knew already it was no use; mom did what mom wanted to do.
"Child, shut up and let me talk. I'm dying and I'm not going down without you hearing this. So listen well, you hear?" She replied snappily.
I sighed and nodded.
"Good," mom answered. Then she began more solemnly, "I once knew a girl that the world didn't want. At a young age she had already sensed her lot in life, people didn't really want to be around her unless they wanted to use her.
She never wanted to admit to the things she sensed though, and allowed for the abuse of her loyalties all her childhood and teen years. She near became a monster in her pursuit of approval.
I saw her character dampen and dampen until she could only be called human because she looked human.
To those who could see further inside, however, we could see an angel that had been skinned and given the skin of a demon.
No one ever hurt her physically but that only seemed to make things worse. People see when you are bruised but they can't see emotional damage."
Mom's heartbeat quickened on the monitor beside her, but I said nothing, knowing I would only be chastised.
"Her best friend ruined her life, made her decide that emotional scarring was a safe and familiar place. Her friend was no friend at all but it took fourteen years for her to realize this.
Scars covered her wrists before she even came to realize half her self worth. She became consumed in her search for pain because happiness was foreign and terrifying.
She wasn't happy but she was satisfied with her unhappiness. Unhappiness was normal and while normal was not a home, it was a house to shelter herself in.
She knew deep down inside the things she wanted and the things she truly valued. Yet she felt her thoughts invalid because no one had taught her to value them.
One day, her friend stepped too far and they split ways. She found a new sense of identity she had never had and felt a freedom completely foreign to her; however, she was already too used to the manipulation and control of others. She had no idea how to be independent.
Overtime, she learned and she fought like a bull to never go back to such a painful lifestyle. I commended her bravery and strength but I also saw that it was a facade. I could see the longing in her eyes when she looked upon that toxic, immoral human. Her heart was too altered and she would fall into the trap of other horrendous relationships even if she didn't return to that specific one."
Mom's heartbeat quickened and became more irregular.
"Mom stop, please," I begged, as her heartbeat became irregular.
"Shut up! You are just like everyone else. You never want to hear a sad story because it's uncomfortable. Well, too bad. Maybe when we are young we can run from pain but as you get older and confined to a bed all you can do is wallow in the pain. So you will listen, you will sit down and listen—" her breath hitched and the monitor seemed to scream.
"Hurry, it's cardiac arrest!" I heard a doctor yell before I blacked out.

It was maybe an hour before the priorly written events that a nurse walked in to check on an elderly woman with dementia.
"Hello ma'am, how are you today?" The nurse asked sweetly.
"Oh, the usual, drowning in misery. At least my daughter will come visit later," she replied.
The nurse sighed. "Ma'am, you don't have a daughter. Here," the nurse said, handing her a shabby piece of paper. "You wrote this and it has all the things you want to remember about your life."
The elderly woman looked confused as she raised a shaky hand to take the sheet of paper.
"My name is Rose and my husband is Austin. I have been a veterinarian for the past fifty years and I donated often to animal charities. I am 85 years old and my mind is now degrading. It is for this reason I am writing this paper. Austin passed away on March 15, 2020. I have no living family nor friends who are capable of visiting me. I had few friends through my adult life but I have done great things. Even if I forget everything else I hope I remember I did great things. I want to die with no regrets," Rose read the messy handwriting aloud.
Then she smiled, as if at peace. Satisfied, the nurse finished checking the elderly woman's vitals and left the room.
Almost immediately after, Rose began talking to herself. Doctors and nurses passed by her without taking notice. In a nursing home where half the patients had some form of dementia, Rose's behavior was not uncommon.
Even as she worked herself into a frenzy and started yelling at nothing in particular, the doctors ignored her.
"Doctor, are you sure we shouldn't do anything about her?" a nurse asked, pointing at Rose. "Her heart rate is rising."
"She is at the end of her life and she has signed DNR forms, there's not much else we can do for her and you know that," the doctor answered, sadly but firmly.
Rose's ECG flatlined and the nurse and doctor ran into the room where another nurse was trying to resuscitate the old woman.
"Stop! She has a DNR!" the doctor commanded but it was too late. The nurse had already managed to revive Rose.
"I didn't know, doctor. It was an emergency and I hope you can forgive me," the nurse pleaded with his head bowed.
The doctor waved him off and went to speak with Rose.
"Doctor," Rose rasped, reaching for his hand. She wrapped her feeble fingers around the doctor's hand. "I don't blame you for not letting me die and I say this in full sanity. I spent my life hoping for approval and love from all the wrong places but I don't want to regret any of it. I spent so long trying to live a satisfying life for myself but I couldn't escape the hellhole of my mind. I still can't. Even so, will you remember my legacy? Can you tell people I tried even when I didn't want to?"
The doctor nodded and Rose smiled at him as a tear slid down her wrinkled cheek.
"Thank you," Rose whispered, closing her eyes.

Soon after Rose's dementia worsened but she lived for another five years. The doctor cried for the first time in twenty years as he fulfilled his final promise to her.
"Some people choose to forget hardship and move on," the doctor began his eulogy for Rose. "Others simply cannot. Rose held on to every bit of pain she had experienced in her life until the day she died and yet, she lived a more fulfilling life that any of us here will ever be able to. She was kind beyond her regular donations to charities and emotional support to anyone who needed it. She, herself, was the one in the most pain but she never once complained. She carried her burdens with her, letting them be a reminder of why she must be kind. I resent that she died alone with no family or friends. I resent that we, as a society, forget the good people in this life because we are so consumed with our own lives.
I was there when she took her final breaths and I will tell you that she lived her final moments in total clarity. She was not bitter or angry. Rose asked for one thing: 'Don't let the world forget me.' Thus, I am here and I will not let the world forget Rose Lin..."
As the doctor finished his eulogy, no one in the nursing home crowd clapped. Half of the elderly were asleep while the dementiatic half screamed. Rose was already forgotten.

Just something I wrote for school. It's not particularly good but I haven't posted here in a while and I thought the message of this short story was good. Enjoy!
~fatsotheawesome 🕊