A More Personal Approach

Where do you draw the line?

Imagine someone you really care about. Perhaps someone who saved your life when you were at your worst. Maybe your own parent, friend, sibling, or soulmate. Remember every good or bad thing that has occurred in your interactions with this person and then think about why this person matters so much to you despite any conflicts that may have occurred between you two.
Now imagine that they did something horrible(i.e a mass shooting, murder, rape, etc), something basically unforgivable to most people. Do you cut this person out of your life? Where do you draw that line?

For me, it is immensely difficult to draw a line. It doesn't mean that I excuse the action they made, I just don't let it define them or my view of them. This is partly due to my own selfishness but it's also just part of my overall philosophy.
Sometimes I fear that if I fuck up to that degree, no one would love me or be by my side ever again. This is the selfish side of me that never judges a person because I don't want to be judged in the same manner.
The main reason I choose not to draw lines, however, is that we are all human and we all have back stories. We are also more than the wrongs we have committed. (With these statements I am talking about "normal" people, so not serial killers or people with psychosis, etc).
To be clear, nothing will ever right a wrong as large as the ones I am talking about. I simply don't think that these wrongs define you. Even if someone wronged me in such a way and it's unhealthy for them to remain in my life, I would forgive them before parting ways.
A lot of people are probably going to attack me and say I have no self respect. I totally understand where they are coming from. Personally, however, I don't see "not drawing the line" as anything worse or better than "drawing the line." To me they are just different ways of looking at the same situation and both are fine as long as they suit the individual. Everyone has different views and ideals and that should be respected.
Perhaps in my romanticized view of life, I can be seen as someone who is easily manipulated but that's something I accept. There is a lot of good in living this way that outweigh the bad.
A lot of times people only judge others as outsiders. If someone random on the street did something terrible, most people judge them harshly. But if someone important to you did the same, would you be able to judge them just as harshly? One of the biggest reasons I am quick to forgive is because I would judge less harshly if I knew who the person was, if I knew their ambitions and personality. I remember that the person doing wrong has a life just as much as the victims. The wrongdoers also are people who have others who care about them.
Once an action is complete then it is done and cannot be taken back. I think that's why even if I were a victim to a wrongdoer, the best thing to do is to forgive. That is one of the best ways to move on.
Of course forgiveness is just one of the ways to go. If drawing the line is your coping method, I have nothing against this. I wrote this because of a real life situation that is occurring in my life but the other reason is to point out the hypocrisy of some people. A lot of us will judge a stranger harshly but completely forgive someone they love or even themselves when they do the same thing. I just wanted to point out that at the end of the day we are all the same. And even though some "mistakes" may be bigger than others, we are all just human.

What is your perspective?
Xoxo,
Fatsotheawesome 🕊