The Staircases // 5SOS

Chapter 4

Raya's P.O.V.

We're almost done playing through our song and we're all pretty quiet. Like no smiling or energy as we play. We've all been like this all day, drained and kinda gloomy. But we're playing and as long as we are practicing, since we have that gig soon, then I guess its fine.

Marj has just finished her solo in the bridge of the song and I look over at her and swear I see tears brimming her eyes that are now a hazel color. She must be crying if they're hazel or else they'd be brown right now. She sees me staring and gives me a look saying 'what?' and now that she's looking directly at me I see her eyes are brown. It must be the lighting in this basement that they looked hazel. She most likely wasn't about to cry.

We all strum our different parts for the bridge, except Kat who doesn't play an instrument, and then all sing the last chorus together. When the song ends we all just look around at each other.

"I'm really not in the mood for this, I'm sorry Bristol" Kat says glancing at Bristol. I think we all expect her to lecture us and say too bad we need to get going but she just gives a soft smile.

"Yeah, I can tell. And to be honest, I'm not really either. I feel like we all have a lot on our minds. Does anyone wanna talk about it?" she gazes around at us.

All of a sudden Marj bursts into tears. So she was holding them back during the song! We all kinda sit there shocked for a second until Bristol finally gets up and puts her arms around her then starts stroking her back.

"Let's go to my room and talk" she says sweetly to Marj and she walks with her down the hall, Bristol's room is in the basement, and Kat and I follow.

Bristol's arms are still around Marj when we all file into Bristol's spacious purple room. Marj's sobs and tears have slowed, but her face is all red and her eyes are definitely hazel now.

"Marj what's wrong?" Kat asks the question for all of us. She looks up and her face seems to beg the question 'what is right?'

Marj doesn't say anything for a while and she continues to hiccup and breathe unevenly until she finally looks around and says "Sorry guys, I don't mean to cry and be the focus of attention right now."

"Don't you dare say that! We are here to listen, we all have stuff on our minds and if you need a good cry let it out" Bristol says sternly.

Again Kat asks "Marj what's wrong?" with worry in her voice.

Marj takes a deep breath and is looking down at the floor, Bristol is still stroking her back.

"I'm having a real hard time with the divorce lately. I know it's been a while and I should be getting over it but I'm not." She pauses "It's mostly because my sisters gone. I miss her. Although we text, call, face time, and see each other more than twice a month I just do. She used to take me to school and I could always look up to her and see her throughout the day now she's three hours away." She pauses again "I still can't believe that she chose to live with him after everything he did to my mom, to us as a family."

I think she is about to start crying again but she continues "It's like there's a sinking feeling constantly in my stomach and a pain in my chest. I can't even try and be happy now that I have my mom to myself like I thought I always wanted, because now I want Jill around too. What makes it worse is I should be there for my mom because I know she's having a hard time too, but I feel like we're growing apart. We never talk anymore! I don't want that! I don't want any of what my life has become! I want Jill to be back and my mom and me happy. I want my Dad who would never do any of things he's done to be back to his old self and everything to be normal again." She takes a deep breath and then starts crying again, harder.