The Staircases // 5SOS

Chapter 12

(6 minutes before the bell rang)

Marj's P.O.V.

After my blow up I kinda just roamed the halls trying to calm myself down before class started again. I didn't wanna go back to fourth hour pissed because Raya was in my fourth hour. At the same time though, I did just so that she could wonder, and be oblivious a little longer, on why I was upset with her.

She still hadn't caught on, which irritated me to no end but then also made me feel terrible. Friends don't stay angry at friends. What I was doing to Raya was not friend like, she deserved to know. It wasn't fair that lately I'd been treating her like crap, and now she knew something was up, even if she didn't know exactly what it was.

The thing it was, is that I just don't want to do it anymore. Any of it. School, friends, family, anything. I just want to be free, do my own thing, left alone. If that makes sense even...too bad that wasn't how I felt particularly right now after my outburst.

I kick at nothing but air as I walk down the history wing of the school.

Suddenly I hear a voice, Calum's voice, as if my loneliness prayers have been answered.

"Marj?" He says breathlessly, he must've ran after me and was searching for me. Would he do that for me? He walks up to where I am and we start walking in step. I keep my head down too embarrassed to look at him after my abrupt exit from the lunchroom.

"Calum" I say just to break the silence, I'm still shocked he's here.

"What was that back there?" He sighs still outta breath, but still he gets to the point quickly.

"It was nothing, I just need some time alone" I lie.

"You're lying" he breathes still heavily, looking at me.

I stop dead in my tracks. Was he guessing or does he really know me and care about me enough, to notice when nothings fine at all?

"How do you know" I choke weakly, and Calum has stopped walking too. He's now standing a little ahead of me. I'm gonna burst into tears if I don't look away so I turn my head.

Everything is too much right now, I'm in a fight with one of my best friends, I'm mad at my dad and mom, I miss my sister, I hate school, and my still sort of oblivious crush is standing right in front of me asking me to tell him what's wrong. If only he knew.

"Marj, do you think I don't know you or something?" He smiles a bit, I assume to try and make me feel better. It works.

"You haven't been your cheery self lately" he says smile fading and concern crossing his face. I love that he cares, but Raya cared too and I blew her off. What's wrong with me?

I guess the silence made him assume I didn't wanna talk, really I was just consumed in my own thoughts.

"You don't have to tell me anything ok?" He says with a small, faintly disappointed, grin. "Let's just walk."

"That sounds..." What did I want to say? What was the word? "That sounds amazing" I finally decide. I don't know why that was so hard. Maybe because I wasn't used to thinking of that word lately.

"Cool" he grins again and I half-heartedly wish he'd stop because it's killing me.

We start walking again and I look at his arms, which are swaying slightly. They are muscular, more so than I thought. Not as big as that other kid -Ace I think- though, but noticeable enough.

Suddenly I have this urge to grab the hand closest to me, his right, after watching his arms. I quickly stop myself before I do though because my heart can't take any rejection right now if that's what he would've done.