𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫. [𝐥𝐫𝐡]

chapter eleven: "broken family."

[luke hemmings]

"aww... they're so cute!"

"get your phone out, take a photo!"

"i got a few when we came in, but now my storage is full..."

"seriously, mike?"

"luke still has those disposable cameras in the top drawer, i'll get one of those out."

"just make it quick, luke and louis are waking up."

the sound of calum and michael's bickering wakes me up almost instantly. i've always been a light sleeper.

i sit up slowly, stretching my sore muscles out. the floor isn't an extremely comfortable place to sleep, especially when you have two other people asleep on your legs.

the mental image of my son sleeping in cammie's arms warms my heart, for some reason. it just looked so... right.

louis is an extremely anxious child. he doesn't really interact with strangers, they terrify him. i've taken him to a couple of different professionals, and both of them suggested developing anxiety. i'm still not 100% sure what that means, but we're working on it. together.

it's obvious he likes carmen. for several obvious reasons.

firstly, he calls her mommy. he's never called anyone mommy.

secondly, he slept on her. literally, on her. he doesn't sleep in public, because there are strangers around. yet he slept in the arms of someone he met less than two weeks prior.

thirdly, he constantly talks about her. even the teachers at his school have commented on it. he even told my mom. that got her extremely excited, she was pestering me for details for hours on the phone.

thanks to louis, my mom is probably planning a wedding. there is NO stopping that woman.

"what the fuck are you guys doing in here?"

calum holds up the cheap disposable camera with a small grin. "pictures for the album."

"we're making a powerpoint, in case you ever try to deny your feelings." michael states with small shrug.

"i swear to god, if you send any of these to my parents... there will be hell to pay." i warn.

neither calum or michael seem very bothered by my threat. they know i would never hurt them enough to cause permanent damage.

a small whine comes from next to me. i look down towards the source of the sound, fully expecting it to be louis. instead, however, i find a sleepy carmen cuddling into the side of my body, with lou fully awake and playing with her hair.

...that's kinda cute, to be honest.

NO. bad luke. you can't think like that.

"good morning, lou. did you sleep well?" i ask, choosing to push the idea of carmen to the side.

he nods rapidly. "better than ever, daddy. mommy should sleep here every night, then i'll never be tired."

i wouldn't exactly mind that, either...

nope. nuh uh. absolutely not. no thoughts, head empty. calm yourself, lucas.

"mommy can't stay with us, because mommy has her own bed. i'm sure she doesn't want to sleep on my living room floor every day, that'd just be uncomfortable."

louis sighs sadly, nodding in understanding. "but can she at least stay for the day?"

"you have school, baby."

"no i don't, it's already lunch time! i'd be extremely late." he points to the clock, and sure enough, it's half past one.

shit.

i turn back to michael and calum in panic. "did either of you call the office, they'll be wondering where he is, otherwise. oh god, what if they think i'm a bad parent. what if they take him awa-"

"relax, lucas," calum rolls his eyes, "we called reception, and told him that louis was sick. you still have to go to work at four, though."

fuck. i forgot about work...

i begin to respond, but i'm cut of by a small yawn coming from carmen. she shuffles around for a few seconds, before opening her eyes.

when she realises her unfamiliar surroundings, she shoots upright.

"where am i? why am i here? oh hi luke. wait, why are you here? is this my house? did you break in? why are your friends here, and why is michael holding a camera? did you kidnap me? am i being held ransom? ashton is pretty cheap, he'll probably just tell you to kill me. you might as well let me go, to be ho-"

louis puts his hand over her mouth. "mommy, shh. you're talking too fast, daddy won't be able to understand you."

he's not wrong.

"you're at my house, remember? you came over to help with louis, and i guess we fell asleep. it's almost two, by the way, so you might want to call someone to pick you up." i inform her, trying to ignore the way my heart practically leaps out of my chest when she ruffles louis' hair.

"i'll call ashton to come get me. don't worry, i'll be out of your hair soon." she gets to her feet, and straightens out her skirt. "damn... i can't believe i managed to sleep on the floor..."

neither can i, to be honest. most of the time, i can barely sleep in my bed. having her around makes things so much easier, for some reason.

too bad it's not gonna last. as soon as she realises that louis isn't gonna let the entire 'mommy' thing go, she'll leave. i know she will.

no one wants to parent a child they don't even know.

"right, well, me and cal have to get to work, so we'll be off..."

the pair say their goodbyes, before leaving the three of us alone.

"mommy... do you love me?" louis asks, the bluntness of the question surprising us both.

"you don't have to answer him, carmen. i think it'd be better if you didn't. i don't want to hurt h-"

"i guess i do, sweetie. but why would you ask?"

"daddy tells me all the time. every time i do something good, he hugs me, and kisses my face, and tells me how proud of me he is. do mommies do that?"

i can tell that carmen feels bad for us. i had to raise a child by myself, and louis doesn't have a real mom.

"i... i think so. i'm not very good at being a mommy, this is my first try. but i'll do my best, just for you. is that okay?"

louis nods happily, a huge grin on his face. "that's great! can you stay with me whilst daddy is at work today? usually uncle callie stays, but he smells weird."

jesus christ.

carmen would make the best mom, but i can't tell her that. she might think i'm hinting at something. i can't let her think like that.

"we can't ask mommy to stay longer than she already has, she needs to do her own stuff." i break the news to louis.

carmen, who's standing awkwardly by the door, takes out her phone, and calls for her friend.

i don't want to see her leave, but louis will just end up getting hurt even more if he gets too close to her. i have to think of louis in this situation, not myself.

because no matter how much i want her to stay, everyone ends up leaving eventually. whether it's temporary, or permanent, everyone leaves.

me and louis are a broken family, and no one has the energy to fix us.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

we're number 44 in #lukehemmings?? out of over 82k other stories? what the hell, thank you guys so much 🍒☁️🖤✨

-  e.