𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫. [𝐥𝐫𝐡]

chapter seventeen: "i think she will."

[luke hemmings.]

i watch her walk away with a small frown on my face. i wasn't done talking to her... i had so much more to say.

but that has to wait for now, because louis wants to see the sharks. they're his favorite animals.

i brought him here for the first time when he was two. although, it was more for my benefit than his. me and mia came to the aquarium on our first date, and i felt like coming here would make me feel closer to her. long story short, it just made me even more upset.

mia loved the ocean. i stayed up for hours at night learning about marine life just to impress her. in the end, it payed off. but now i just have a bunch of useless knowledge on stingrays.

maybe one day it'll come in handy.

i lean against the glass on one side of the shark tunnel, watching my son babble to the girl i'm scared to lose about the different sharks they have here. it's an odd sight.

it's weird seeing him so comfortable with someone else, but i don't hate it. i could get used to having carmen around. she seems to make things so much brighter.

louis has become so dependent on her over the past couple of weeks. i'm not sure how he'd take it if she left. definitely not well. she's one of the first people that i've actually been able to see a future with.

if i feel this much better when it's just a day with her, i can only imagine how amazing it'd be to live with her. full time.

she'd be there to help me with louis when i need it, and she could help me when i don't feel like carrying on anymore.

i find myself smiling at the thought.

with the newfound positivity, i make my way over to where they stand. louis is pointing out his favorite shark with contagious excitement whilst carmen holds him on her hip.

they don't notice i'm there with them until i speak up. "have you told mommy about the time we saw a bull shark in the harbour?"

louis, unfazed by my sudden arrival, shakes his head.

carmen lets out a small gasp. her eyes are wide with shock, "you saw a bull shark? how close did you get?"

she sounds almost worried, but still impressed. bull sharks are extremely dangerous if you get too close. we were out on a walk together when louis spotted it swimming around. he was terrified, before i explained that it couldn't get to us.

"we stayed a reasonable distance away, just to be safe. but louis got a few pictures on my phone, didn't you?"

"yeah! i took them into school for show and tell!" louis turns back to carmen, "do you want to see them, mommy?"

she nods, clearly curious. i take my phone out of my back pocket. after scrolling through hundreds of unnecessary screenshots, i eventually find them.

the pictures are slightly blurry as they were taken by a child, but it's unmistakably there.

"holy shit..." carmen breathes.

louis pouts in disapproval. "that's a bad word, mommy."

a soft blush rises in her face. she apologises to the small boy before returning her attention to me.

"louis says you'll teach me about ray fish."

ah, finally. perhaps my useless knowledge on marine biology could prove itself useful for once.

"only if you ask nicely." she rolls her eyes at my teasing, "i don't hear you asking nicely, sugar."

louis giggles, "you have to say please, mommy. it's polite!"