Me, Myself and I

30 - The reflection, the explanation and the realization

Once Adam and I got out of the crowd of people in front us, we didn't speak to each other. We were in that awkard silence mode where we couldn't formulate words. Yet... neither of us let go of the other's hand.

I don't know why I didn't do it. I wanted to slap him, to beat him up senseless... more than usual at least. But I couldn't bring my mind to start working again. To stop mixing all of my new and old forgotten feelings that I didn't want to understand. I wanted to run away, to lock myself in the bathroom and start crying my eyes out, to scream from the bottom of my heart.

Before I could decide what to do, Adam and I had already arrived near Patty and the guys. Patty, as expected, was staring at her phone scrolling down some type of social media app, while Thomas and Ben were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors for some reason. I will never understand those two.

When we stopped next to them Patty started talking while still looking at her phone. "Oh, my gods, you guys seriously take this long just to get a slushy. By the way Penelope passed by crying about a minute ago and-" At that moment she finally took one glance at us and it just felt like someone had cast the Petrificus Totalus spell on her before she screamed. Not exactly a lovely sight to see after your first kiss. Especially coming from your best friend.

Thomas and Ben soon took notice and Ben was actually the one to break the ice. "What happened to you guys? You look like shit!"

Adam and I looked at each other. None of us knew how to respond. Yet, he still was better at conversation than me, so he was the one to step up and answer his best friend. "We... uhmmm... we both ran into some people."

"Then those people are assholes because they clearly don't know what is means to respect fellow students. You guys look like crap!" Patty said in an angry tone. She then went to check her phone again while Thomas checked if we were ok in his nervous weird clumsy way. But suddenly, Patty stopped after a few scrolls and looked at us both in complete shock.

I tried to think it wasn't the obvious reason. I don't think people could be that dumb and post a picture what had just happened between Adam and I, but that idea was the only one that ran in my head watching her surprised expression.

"Caroline, can talk to you for a moment?" Then she looked at the guys and then back at me. "Alone?"

"S-sure." Why was I stuttering? Am I really that messed up in terms of brain right now?

At that moment, Patty grabbed my hand and as she was pulling me towards the other end of the hallway, I let go of Adam's, taking one last quick worried and confused glance at him. I'm not sure I could confront him for the rest of the day, so I took one last chance to try and figure out what was going through his mind.

Before my brain turned into a blur, I vividly remember Adam apologising to me. At that moment I genuinely thought he was referring to getting slushied on the face, getting my glasses broken plus adding a whole bunch of attention to the two of us. But he could have also said he was sorry because he might have thought it through before he... you know.

But then we turned around the corner and the tables of my attention turned towards my best friend. I noticed that Patty was dragging me to the bathroom. I guess today is the day where I'm dragged around to places by others. Just great...

When we arrived there, she took one quick check up at the toilet cabinets and then turned to me showing the her phone opened in  what I assume was an instagram story with a picture of the oh so unforgettable moment from about 7 minutes ago, right in front of face.

"You've got a lot of explaining to do. Because I know this wasn't your idea." She took her phone down and looked at me as if she knew I was some sort of sad. "And also... clean yourself. You don't wanna look like a sick Absolem, the Caterpillar."