I feel so lost, I don't remember who I am or what I was. My head aches when I try to remember at least something. I guess, that's how it feels like to suffer from amnesia...
~
Angeline's life had taken a huge toll when she had no choice but to move...
Just a few minutes ago I had everything. Well, technically I thought I had everything. Hospital's weren't my thing at all. However, there was nothing I can do but stare at the lifeless body through the glass as doctors and nurses work their way around in there..
From out here, it looks chaotic in there. I feel lifeless standing out here. With no tears, I blankly stare wishing for her to just wake back up again and tell me she's fine.
My throat goes completely dry. So as my whole body becomes stiff. The movement in there comes to an halt. I watch closely as one of the male Doctor lift his arm out before muttering something to his co workers.
He excuses himself as he steps out of the room facing me. With a pained look attached to his face, he spoke. "I am so sorry Miss Ambrose. Time of death 10:17pm." With one final pity glance at me, he turned on his heels and strode off down the narrow hallway of this hospital.
Blinking back the tears, I couldn't believe it. Words were stuck at the pit of my stomach just as I could hear footsteps approaching me.
They got so louder till it came to an sudden stop in front of me. Feeling my world crumbling down, I looked up at my grandparents before facing my younger siblings as they both launched themselves into my arms sobbing so hard.
"I wanna see mummy." Skylar's voice spoke softly in between sobs. "Okay." I replied with no trace of emotions. Taking both their hands we walked in to face our dead mother.
Mom's health had always been frail. Though she tried to act tough as if everything was fine, she wasn't. But I knew deep down she was hurting everyday and she hated it. She was diagnosed with Cancer in her uterus. It had began in the layer of cells that form the lining ( endometrium ) of the uterus.
Trust me, as much as I want to understand all these, I don't because I know nothing of cancer and how it works. All these aren't my words but from the doctor's themselves.
Her symptoms included vaginal bleeding after menopause and bleeding between periods.
It had really gone worse. At night she would cry out in pain and immediately I'd be rushing into her room to sober her down. So as the twins.
We'd always help her in every possible way we can think of. Help her move around, carry her to the bathroom, take her for her usual check up and back home.
We never gave up on her because she is our everything. She is or was the center of our lives and will always be.
As I stood here holding her pale, fragile and cold hand in mine, I couldn't help it as big cold fat tears came streaming down my cheeks hurriedly as the sob began to rise in my throat.
Between the tears and blurry vision, I could detect a soft smile plastered on her pale pink cheeks. She looked so at ease. More like, peacefulness.
~
These five day's had gone passed in a blur. She's no longer here. The house had gone so quiet and it makes me sick. The twins had been stuck in their rooms so as I. It was so difficult for any of us to form a sentence or say anything.
What's even shocking now is finding out my biological father is alive and walking the face of this earth. Didn't know he existed until three days ago.
"Are you all packed?" My grandmother barged in as she saw me staring down at my bags on the carpeted floor. "Yeah." I answered dryly not wanting to speak. "Look Lynni, as much as your grandad and I want you three to stay with us, we just cannot." She puffed out her lungs as she stood before me. "Why not?" I desperately begged softly looking into her ocean blue eyes similar to moms.
"Just let him be a father to you, okay." With a lazy smile thrown my way, she walked out. I hated the fact that I'm gonna be meeting my belovedfather for the first time. What's even better is moving in with him. Now, that really sucks if you ask me.
Taking my bags in both hands, I did two rounds going back and forth. Soon everything were packed in the back of car before I joined Sky on the front porch stairs.
"Hey! You okay?" I asked sitting beside her. "Yeah, I think so." She paused before continuing. "Everytime your sad, I'm sad too. Please don't be sad." Sky confessed hugging her teddy closely to her chest.
"Here's the deal. If you ever see me sad, hug me like this and I promise you I'll be better again, okay." I spoke softly as I hugged her close to my chest. "Much better." She chuckled as she returned my hug before wiggling out of my hold when Reese had approach us.
"What about me? Don't I deserve a hug also." Without waiting a second the little devil had crashed into my arms shoving a giggling Sky away from me.
"You're so girly." Sky spoke in between giggles. "Gosh! We're gonna fall Reese." I chuckled as I tried not to hug him but might have cradled him like a baby.
"Noo!! I'm not a baby, Lynni." Reese wiggled out of my hold as he glared at me.
"Well, you asked to be hugged. So I gave you one." I chuckled as I stood up. Our grandparents came out locking the doors behind which meant we where leaving now.
"Ready?" They questioned with a distant look glittering in their eyes. Nodding, we all stood up from the porch and made our way down towards the car on the driveway.
