I Promised - [Larry fan fiction]

Just pretend

Maybe it was the right thing to do.
Neither of them had the urge to fight.
It was just exhausting -...kind of pointless.
They had fought so much now, but it always resulted in them crying.

It was 2am. All the lights in Liam's house were out except for the one in the living room. The only thing you could hear was the soft sound from early 2000 balades, making you feel nostalgic.

One hour before they had been in each other's arms crying. Louis had told Harry not to leave, to stay because he needed Harry.

Now they were sitting opposite each other on the couch, surrounded by pillows. Glancing at each other and admiring their peaceful silence. They ate a lot of sweets, Liam had hidden in the kitchen. Sipping another cup of tea as well as sometimes being brave enough to give eachother a soft smile.

Pretending. Just pretending everything was fine, because both of them were tired of arguing.

Harry checked the time again. 2:45 in the morning. He looked over to Louis who had fallen asleep. Next to all of these pillows Louis seemed even smaller than usual. Harry sighed he could stay like this forever. Just watching Louis. Observing his brown feathery hair that pointed in every direction, his long and eyelashes that lay against his slightly rosy cheeks. Harry could write a book about every little thing that he loved about him.
He stared at Louis - yes, he wanted stare at him forever.

But he couldn't. He had caused them breaking up. And he had always wanted to spend his life with Louis, to grow old with him. He looked away from Louis, not wanting to tear up again.

'Why did I do this?'-'Why did I get so drunk and let it happen?'-'Why did I let all of this happen?'

Harry stood up from the couch quietly, turning around one last time to make sure he hadn't woken Louis. Fortunately, Louis' eyes were still closed and Harry sighed in relief. He trotted to the window and looked at the snowstorm outside. A silent tear came out of his eye, making its way down his face.

"Harry?"

Harry turned around. Louis was sitting up, his hair all ruffled up and his eyes still a bit squinted.

"...still not able to sleep?", he said, getting next to Harry.

It was silent for a moment. They just stared out of the window.
Snow in November - actually a bit unusual, but beautiful.

"I never told you everything about it", Harry said, breaking their silence.

"What do you mean?",Louis asked, still mesmerized by the snow flurry.

"The nights I got drunk",Harry said, not really sure why he brought it up again,"I never told you why I got drunk."

"...Why did you get drunk?"

"You know what...", Harry looked down, trying to play it off," it's stupid to bring it up again. It's all over. It won't change anything-...won't get better because of It.... 'cause if It r-...no,It doesn't matter."

"But maybe I'll understand you",Louis turned to look at Harry.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to know it, but he probably should. This would help to get this topic out of his head.
Also if Harry wanted to tell Louis, it would help him too.
Harry locked eyes with Louis.
Then he took a deep breath.

"Well it started in August. When we were back from our vacation and I got a call from management. You were in such a good mood, I didn't want to ruin it, so I kept it to myself and went there alone...When I got there they showed me pictures-pictures showing us kissing at the beach....They said that the magazines would publish them if they wouldnt get a better story. I tried to convince them, that we could just come out. They said they would ruin my carrier, if I wouldn't go out with these tons of models."

Harry looked to the ground, unnoticed tears streamed down his face.'Why did I want to talk about it?', he thought.

"...When I said I didn't care about my carrier, they said they would ruin yours. And that's why I did it. I went out with these models for weeks ,but I came to the point where I couldn't take it. Management said I wasn't allowed to tell them I was in a relationship, so they flirted with me, touched me,tried to kiss me. After all these dates were over I just needed to forget everything. So I went drinking... I drank so much...If you would've asked me what my name was, I couldn't have answered it. I can't really remember what happened. But I know that when I realised what I had done I wanted to kill myself.
I thought I could never do that again, but I did.", Harry paused, realising that he was crying the whole time.

"I did it once more. And I dream of it every night. It haunts every night.This loud music, the club filled with sticky air and too many people. So much alcohol. And this f.ucking kiss",

Harry's breathing was completely out of control by now,"... alcohol was the only solution to forget it. The only way to forget this...god damn contract."

"...Wh-what contract, Harry?", Louis asked completely confused and overwhelmed.

>

Chapter 11<3
-now this one was even longer...

Your thoughts?
I'm being a bit quicker than usual, 'cause I need to make my mom a birthday present for tomorrow...

Well vote if you want.

See you<3
K