i don't want to live in a world without you

Chapter 3

At the end of the month, Byleth is supposed to receive her holy vision. She still has not found a way to tell Rhea that she does not think any such thing is going to happen. In fact, she still is not sure, and wonders if a secret part of her hopes that this will bring Sothis back to her. Maybe she will return to normal then, and it will be like she never changed to begin with, though she doubts that.

Midway through the month, she goes to speak with Edelgard. For the most part, Byleth has been avoiding conversations outside of class, because she feels on edge with the way people look at her now that she has changed. Those of the church treat her differently, reverently, and her students, who watched her defeat darkness itself, don't quite seem to know how to treat her. Ordinarily, she would not seek out any of her students, let alone the house leader, but Hubert has been missing all month, and she wants to see if Edelgard knows about that, before she brings it to the church's attention or tries to get into contact with his family.

"He is attending to important business in the Empire," Edelgard repliess, her tone serious. "I have to be leaving soon myself. I was going to find you and tell you about my absence. Hubert had promised to do the same, but I guess the fact that you're asking about him means that he didn't."

Byleth shakes her head. "What are you going back home for?" It might not be any of her business, but she asks anyway.

"I was going to ask about that as well. Would you like to come with me, my teacher?"

~X~

When Byleth returns from her brief trip, she goes to her father first thing. She had told him about her departure, and then helped Edelgard create a reason for the two of them to need to go, all without knowing the real reason for her trip. Now that she has returned, she goes straight to Jeralt to tell him what she has seen.

"Edelgard has been crowned," she says. "Nobody knows about it here yet, but she's already...she's the emperor now."

"Is that what she brought you there for? To oversee it?" he asks. His expression is unreadable, his reaction impossible to gauge.

"Yes. I don't know what..." She pauses, swallowing before continuing. "I think there's going to be a war. I think Edelgard intends to go to war."

"Your student," he says. "You believe that your student, who has recently been crowned the ruler of one of the three nations of Fodlan, is going to start a war?"

"I do."

She expects him to say something here, to tell her what she should do, or even to tell her to stay out of it, and let him handle everything. Instead, he asks her, "What are you going to do?"

"I...what do you mean?"

"Exactly what I asked," says Jeralt. "You know a lot of things that you probably aren't supposed to. I'm sure she made you promise not to tell anybody, and you decided I didn't count and came to me. I won't tell a soul, unless you want me to."

"But what about..."

"My loyalty to the knights?" He sighs. "Kid, you know things are a hell of a lot more complicated than that. You know that better than anyone now. It's up to you to decide where you go from here, alright? You've been out in the world and you've been here, and you've seen more than most. This isn't a decision anyone can make for you."

"Not long ago, you told me not to go after revenge for you," she replies. "You had no trouble trying to make decisions for me then."

"And look what good that did me. You went with your heart then, didn't you? Even if I had something to tell you now, even if I tried to advise you or tell you outright what to do, I don't think that would make a difference, once you actually made up your mind," he says. "So I'm going to leave this one entirely in your hands. She's your student, this is your class. Whatever you decide, you'll have me. You'll always have me."