Life Unscripted

The Journey to Freedom

We finally make it in the plane, as the airplane taxis the runway ready for departure my heart is conflicted still. I was leaving my responsibilities of taking care of my adopted brothers, my Papa and even my adopted mother. Tears stream down my face as I watch the plane take off. So many thoughts and emotions run through my mind. What is the next step for me. I was now eighteen and independent so to speak. I had to find a way to support myself now. I needed to finish out my credits to complete my high school diploma. I cried most of the five hour flight to Hawaii. I prayed and asked God to protect my two little brothers and even my adopted mother. My Nana and Papa taught me a very valuable lesson from the Bible that I held dear to me.
Mark 11:25
"And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."
I knew that if I couldn't try and find forgiveness, I would not be able to move forward. Of course it took time to heal and it was so hard for me because life even on my own wasn't easy. I was still young and trying to figure out my life path. I believe that the foundation in God my Grandparents provided for me was the key to how I was able to cope with life.

We finally arrive in Hawaii and my friends brother picked us up from the airport. I felt relieved we were now far away from San Diego but now I was in a foreign area to me. I met my friends older sister and her husband along with their children. They welcomed me with open arms and I became at ease for a moment. Life as I knew it now was different and the future was unknown.

The next week I went to try and enroll in the local high school to see if I could still graduate in June with my class as I only had four credits to complete my high school diploma. After getting my credits from San Diego transferred over the counselor at the high school said to me that the state of Hawaii had different requirements to complete the high school diploma. I had to take two more classes that had to do with Hawaii state history to graduate and get a diploma for that state. I was discouraged because now that meant I couldn't finish in time because June was only three months away. I decided to enroll in the G.E.D. Program in the Adult school instead. I found a full time job, my very first job ever. I then went to work in the morning and school at night.

One day I was at work, and I fell really ill. I worked at Mc Donald's in the drive through line and I thought the smell of the food was what was bothering me but to my surprise that was far from it. I went to the emergency room at the nearest hospital and found out I was pregnant. My friend had become my boyfriend and we were now going to be young parents. This halted all my plans for finishing high school and because of my morning sickness had to work part time now. I just remembered being so emotional as I knew now I added another level of worry into my life. We lived with my boyfriends sisters little family and now we were expecting a child. We not only were responsible for ourselves but another life.

On top of being very sick the first trimester of the pregnancy I started to see a different person in my now boyfriend. Little things like he never was home. He worked, then went out with old friends. I didn't mind when it was sometimes but it became a regular. He would go out on the weekends all day sometimes and leave me at home in my room to fend for myself sick and pregnant. I now had to quit my job because it became too much for me with the morning sickness. I was now stuck at home in my room alone. I would take daily walks up the street to the local gymnasium to work out and I would see my boyfriends cousins I met and they would begin to tell me things they were seeing. When they told me they saw my boyfriend with another woman at the volleyball game, I was so distraught. I went home to wait for him to get home from work so I could confront him.

By this time I was about three months into my pregnancy. My boyfriend finally came home and I asked him about what I heard and he of course got upset with me for listening to other people. He said he was working hard to save money for the baby and I should've been more appreciative. The argument got heated and I left the house walking down to the gymnasium. It was now about almost midnight, that may not have been a wise idea. In our culture If your pregnant and you walk alone in the night the belief was that your baby could become possessed by a evil spirit. I was upset and I just wanted to get out of the house. I didn't have family near by to call so I went walking hoping to find somewhere to sleep at the park. It was warm out so I didn't mind. After about being gone walking for an hour or two, I became tired and hungry so I returned back home and there is when all hell broke loose with my boyfriend and I saw a whole other side of him I was not prepared for.

I was sitting on the porch outside of the front door and he came outside to look for me. He saw me there and immediately pulled my hair and dragged me up the stairs to our bedroom. It was now about 2 am in the morning. Everyone in the house was asleep. He yelled at me for walking outside in the dark by myself and when I told him I was leaving back to San Diego, he became irate! I saw in his eyes a evilness that I had never seen before in my life. I knew I had to fight him for the sake of my unborn child. He got mad that I fought back and he pushed me into the weight lifting bench that was in our bedroom but that wasn't the worse part my back hit the metal bar of the weight lifting bench and I felt a sharp pain in my stomach so I ran to the bathroom and I noticed some blood in the toilet after urinating. I became afraid so I started crying and he came into the bathroom, saw me crying and apologized for doing what he did. I went back into the room and tried to go to sleep. I told him when I find money to pay for my airfare I was leaving him. Nothing he could say was helping me at that point.

The next day I went to the clinic to check the status of my pregnancy and thankfully my baby was unharmed and still had a steady strong heartbeat. I sat in the lobby praying to the Lord to thank Him for saving my baby and me. I asked God to protect me and help me find a way out. I was so deeply sad. I just ran away from a bad situation just to find myself in a worse predicament. Now I was left with so much on my mind but the most important concern was making sure to keep my unborn child safe from harm and to try and be healthy for the remainder of the pregnancy.

A few weeks later, I came across information that my adopted mother's brother my uncle whom I knew growing up lived on the other side of the island so I got in contact with him and we met to talk. I asked him if he had room for me at his house. I never mentioned the abuse I went through with my boyfriend. He said yes he had a little room he built under the house that his sons lived in before they moved out of his house, so I moved in with him.

My boyfriend was remorseful and asked me if he could go with me and promised nothing like that would ever happen again. He said he loved me and our child and would ensure me he was going to do better. I gave him another chance because I felt  alone and having someone near by would somehow make me feel better. I was still young and immature and abuse was normal to me seeing it my whole life, so I let my boyfriend back into my life.  He later got a job down then street from my uncles home and worked full time while I enrolled in the adult school in the area to finish out my high school credits.

Things were coming along ok but I became emotional when graduation season came. I would sit outside my uncles home and watch all the seniors in the neighborhood come home from their graduations and thought that could have been me. Quickly I snapped out of it and promised myself to stay focused and it ignited a fire within me to become very determined to finish school and go on to college. I knew the road wouldn't be easy but I knew that God was always by my side and with Him I could accomplish anything.

My relationship with my boyfriend was ok but I still had my guard up and didn't trust him much. I did see a change in him and he became a good provider. He did take care of me the rest of the pregnancy. I was about seven months pregnant and I got news that my biological brother was looking for me. I had met him when I was about sixteen but he lived far away and we lost touch after a while. An older friend of mine was dating a guy who was my brothers best friend. That's how the connection was made. My boyfriend and I ended up moving to Northern California to live with my biological brother who we shared the same mother. He was living with my biological mother's brother and wife and their kids. I was happy to be with them finally having the opportunity to be with my biological side. I was getting close to the end of my pregnancy and I wanted to get a stable place for my boyfriend myself and our new baby, so here we begin our next chapter in life.