Dreams We Had

Chapter Ten - Momo Miki

I was finally going to get some closure, and for the first time in my life I felt as if I didn't want to know what had really happened. My attitude completely changed, and I was afraid of what I was about to hear. All of a sudden it didn't matter. I felt all the color drain from my face. He cleared his throat and closed his eyes. After a short pause, he began to speak.

"First, I have to tell you Mr. Carlton and Sheerly weren't just our foster parents. They were our aunt and uncle. Sheerly was our mom's older sister. Her only sister. When our mom was in college, she met our dad and they moved to Japan to live with his parents as they were aging. When they died we were sent to them because they were next of kin, or something. I don't know why they were so cruel to us, and I don't think I ever will know. But, Sheerly did start giving me a small allowance in secret because she knew how hard it would be for us to live on our own." He looked me in the eyes and exhaled hard, "Now for what happened to our parents. It was winter, January I think, and mom and dad decided to go out on a date or a company event or something. Just before they left I was being a brat and threw a huge tantrum since I didn't want to say with grandma; I was like full on screaming and in tears. I remember how angry I was. Mom was yelling and got so frustrated that she literally dragged dad out of the house without even saying goodbye, and that was the last time I saw them. It was my fault. I caused it. If I wouldn't have done what I did they wouldn't have left when they did, and it wouldn't have happened." He mumbled under his breath, choking back tears. I could tell that it was hard for him to talk about it, and it was hard for me to hear.

"What wouldn't have happened?" I said quietly.

"I'm getting there." He said, "Grandma made a traditional dish for dinner, and we were all eating. That's when the earthquake hit. It wasn't a big one, maybe a 5.5 or 6 magnitude, just big enough to feel and do a little damage. I remember you started crying just before the phone rang, and this eerie, creepy feeling came over me. That's where the memory starts to get fuzzy. I just remember grandma hysterically screaming all sorts of phrases I can't even begin to remember. Then she told me to take you upstairs and to stay there. We just sat alone upstairs for what seemed like hours. You kept asking me what was going on, and I kept telling you I don't know. Exactly the same as what I've been doing for the past ten years. The next thing I remember is being at the airport. I don't remember anything in between. I think they got into an accident. I know as much as you do about what exactly happened. Whether it was a car crash, or something else..." He continued. An unnerving silence filled the room. As he spoke he looked down at his hands, closely examining his fingernails while I stared blankly at the wall. I could have never imagined the story being quite that tragic. For some reason, I always imagined it being different, like a murder. I finally understood why Kian had been hesitant to tell me the whole story; he seriously thought that he had caused it, 

"You know, it wasn't your fault. You were just a baby, you didn't know any better. It was fate, and you can't mess with fate." I whispered.

"I know that. But that doesn't mean that I can't feel guilty about what happened."

"Well, there was no way could have known that an earthquake was going to hit..."

"But I made them leave. If they would have left later, they wouldn't be dead." He muttered under his breath. Even though it probably wasn't the right time to do so, I wanted to ask him questions that had also been nagging me. So, I did.

"Can I ask you a few things?"

"You can try, like I said. I don't know a lot..."

I took a breath. "What were their names?"

"I don't know. The only specific thing I know is that before the hill's took us in we lived overseas, that's it. Sorry."

I sighed. He didn't know, but I guess that was something that couldn't be helped.

"Do you have any photos?"

"Yeah. Actually, I have a single photo album. Sheerly left it here when she stopped by when we first moved in. Do you wanna see it?"

I nodded. "Uh huh"

"Okay. I'll be right back." He said quietly, pushing himself off the couch and walking into his room. I heard Kayden and him talk a bit before he came back with a box. He carefully set it down on the coffee table, opening the flaps, pulling out a dusty grey scrapbook and sitting back down.He slowly opened the book sitting in his lap and began flipping through the pages. We talked about the photos. Who was in the photos, what was happening, and when the photos were taken. Each photo gave me a sense of awe and nostalgia. One page in particular stuck out to me. There was a photo missing.

"I don't know what was supposed to be here..." Kian said, running his hand over the dried glue and looking at me. I felt my heart stop. That photo was the photo I kept under the mattress, the very photo that had given me comfort and anxiety all these years.

"I do." I whispered. I flew off the couch and darted into my room, shoving my hand under the mattress, and pulling out the photo. I ran back into the living room where Kian had an extremely confused, and slightly alarmed, look on his face. I held the photo out in front of me to show him, and then placed it in the empty slot on the page. It was a perfect fit.

"It's us." He said softly as he ran his hand over the photo again. There was a small, almost unnoticeable, smile growing on his face. "You kept that photo all these years despite the fact that you didn't know who any of the people were. I'm amazed."

"I assumed they were just strangers. I liked looking at it an imagining what life would have been like. I liked looking at a perfect family." I explained.

"Wow."

He began flipping through the book again, and with each turn of the page I started to feel more and more miserable. Well, more like a mixture of happy and miserable. On the very last page of the book was a photo of me on my third birthday, which was the December before the accident. I was sitting in front of a cake that had the words "Happy birthday Momo-chan" inscribed on it. My hair was pulled back into little twin tails and little seven year old Kian was on my left. Our mom and dad were in the background smiling proudly. It was the last photo taken of us as a family. Kian closed the book and set it next to him then put his hands in his lap. We sat in silence for a good five minutes. I just wasn't really sure what I was feeling. I didn't feel the sense of relief I thought I would feel, instead there was a pit in my stomach and I wanted to cry. All of a sudden, the words fell from my mouth without any warning.

"We need to go back."

"Huh?"

"We need to go back home."

"Why?"

"Because! Dude, we need to get the full story. If we go home and see everyone then they can tell us what we don't know!" I explained with enthusiasm. I knew he couldn't turn me down; he needed the information as much as I did.

"Neither of us speak Japanese." He countered

"Kayden does! Or, at least I think he does! Can't he can teach us at least something?"

"I want to go back too..." He agreed.

"So why don't we?"