Dreams We Had

Chapter Eighteen - Momo Miki

The morning we went to the grave was cloudy and overcast, but the sun still, on occasion, peaked through the clouds. Letting its warm rays radiate to the earth below, and feeling like a warm hug when it hit my skin.

The cemetery was located in a wooded area with tall trees that reached for the skies and whose branches fell over the land like arms connecting the earth with the heavens. Tall stone pillars with names carved into the lined the grounds, and there was a small stone path down each row of graves. Our grandparents showed us to our parents and stepped back letting us get close and have our time alone. We had brought flowers and our grandparents had brought incense to honor them. Our grandparents began to clean the stone with water then allowed us to place the items carefully and silently in front of the plot.

I kneeled down on the ground and put my hands on the cool stone grave. And for the first time in a long time I cried for them. I began to feel an overwhelming feeling, their presence. It was like I could feel my mom's arms around me. I fell forward and wept. I audibly cried and cried. I just wanted my mom and dad. It ached, and it burned. Kian stepped forward, placing one hand on my shoulder and the other on the stone, carefully tracing the names with his pointed finger. I got back up on my feet and gently closed and opened my eyes.

"I love you." I said, "I'm sorry it took so long but we're finally here. Mama. Dad. We're here."

Kian glanced down at me, dropped his hand, took a step forward, and hugged the stone. The tears shamelessly poured from his eyes. He mumbled 'I love you' and 'Mama, I'm sorry' over and over. I felt my eyes well up. I blinked hard, biting my lip as I too began to cry again. There was just a mutual sense grief between us, a sense of grief neither of us was allowed to feel until that very moment. Reunited at last with the people who gave us both life.

Our actions probably seemed silly and disrespectful to the few other people at the graveyard who were paying respects to their own relatives, but we didn't care. They didn't know what we had been though. They didn't know anything. If they felt like judging us, we were just dumb foreigners anyways.

"I'm sorry I caused all this. I'm sorry I never said goodbye. I know I couldn't have prevented this. I know it was just fate, but I need to apologize to you two once more. I miss you guys like crazy." He said before crouching down. I knelt beside him.

"You remember when we were little and we used to walk to school with them every day. Most parents would just let their kids go alone, but they were not like most. They were so extra. We lost something so valuable." He muttered. I thought back, remembering.

"I know we did. We really, really did."

"I regret every tantrum I threw and every disrespectful word. If I only would have known better."

"It makes you think."

"It does." He began, "When I have kids I'm going to remember how I feel right now. I'll try and teach them to treat everyone like they will never see that person again. And I will know that no matter what they say that they love me, and I will be patient with them. I will understand."

"Me too. Although I don't want kids, if I do someday have them, I'll teach them that too. And I will make sure to care for them like they are princes and princesses. They will never live the life we lead after the move. I will never let them. I don't care if I'm dead. I will fight from the grave to prevent this from happening again."

"I second that."

"Sometimes, I wish I still had a dad to teach me, and a mom to help me and make me feel loved. Not saying that Carlton didn't teach my anything and Sheerly didn't help me when I needed advice. But I just wish I could talk to them sometimes. Not just looking up at the sky, hoping, and muttering under my breath 'Mama, if you can hear this, help'"
I nodded, "We learned something from both lives. From our Japanese lives we learned the value of family. When we moved in with Carlton and Sheerly we learned independence and got to see everything from their prospective. I know we had some struggles there, and they didn't always treat us with care, but we honestly could have gotten a lot worse. Think about it."