Q/A + Reminders

CURE FOR INFATUATION

Asalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

Praise be to Allah

For a man to be attracted to a woman and vice versa is something that Allah has caused to be quite natural in people, so that the human race might be perpetuated and not cease to exist on earth until Allah, may He be exalted, decrees, and so that an atmosphere of comfort and tranquillity may be created within the family.

Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought”

[ar-Room 31:21].

So a man is not to be blamed for feeling an attraction towards women.

Or a woman is not to be blamed for feeling an attraction towards men.

If a man/woman finds him/herself attracted to a non-mahram outside the framework of marriage, it may be difficult for him/her to rid his/her heart of that. Hence Islamic teachings dictate keeping away from anything that could lead to this kind of attraction and taking precautions to prevent it happening in the first place.

Infatuation and attraction do not usually develop in the heart except because of letting one’s gaze wander freely; failing to lower the gaze and refrain from looking at that which is prohibited; and doing that which strengthens this infatuation, such as listening to haraam songs, reading or watching love stories, letting one’s thoughts wander, and letting the infatuation take root, especially if one’s heart is spiritually weak and devoid of remembrance of Allah, may He be exalted.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The steps that lead to infatuation are under one’s control, and what is required is to avoid them. Looking, harbouring thoughts and exposing oneself to circumstances in which one may fall in love are all voluntary matters (that should be avoided), but once one takes those steps, then what results from that is something that a person has no control over.

It is like the intoxication that results from drinking alcohol: if consuming the intoxicant is something voluntary, what results from it of intoxication becomes beyond one’s control. As the means that led to that state was something that the individual chose and was not forced to do, he is not to be excused from what results from it that is not under his control. If the means is haraam, then the intoxicated person is not excused.

No doubt looking repeatedly and dwelling on thoughts is like drinking an intoxicant, so the individual is to be blamed for not keeping away from that which led to this outcome.

End quote from Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (p. 225).

The topic of infatuation is very strange matter.  Sometimes the hardest obstacle to overcome it is the mind.  When the mind has conceded that the body has a problem, that person has already lost the half battle. 

When the mind has conceded that it has been taken over by the remembrance of the beloved, it is really hard to break this train of thoughts.  It requires a person to dig deep inside him/herself and strengthen his/her resolve. 

As I already quoted above that steps leading to infatuation is under one's control but it's consequences are not.

Cure for infatuation will be avoiding all those things which lead to it! 

I know,  Its a difficult task but it's not impossible.

For any difficult goal to be achieved, a person needs to have determination. 

Rasulullah صلي الله عليه وسلم said, "Actions are by intentions, and for every man is what he intended."

A person will go as far as his intention; if his intention was one of huge determination, then he will continue to reach the goal despite facing various hardships along the way. On the contrary, if a person's intention was weak, his determination and resolve will crumble at the first hardship faced in reaching his goal. As a result, he will be left unsuccessful and will continue to try finding new ways of attaining his intended target. The reality is, when battling diseases of the mind and heart, nothing is easy. There is no shortcut, there is no side road which a person can use during testing times, rather everything is done by clenching the fists and getting on with the job.

They key principle is, "Never lose courage".

Always keep on going even if it feels a mountain trek in the beginning. Sooner or later, the tawajjuh (attention) of Allah falls upon His slave which results in mass progress. In our context, this means that a person should immediately slap himself (not literally) and leave the thoughts surround the desired one. During times of frustration, such strong feelings may come back but a person should not feel hopelessness, rather he should pick himself up and try again. The resolve should be such that a person feels inside of his heart,

"Even if I die, I am going to get this khabis out of my mind and heart!"

Such strong resolve is loved by Allah who in turn sees the mujjahadah (effort and struggle) of His slave. Consequently, Allah gives the slave the ability to fulfil his task.

There is lot one can say about infatuation.  It has become common nowadays and unfortunately quite normal too! That is because we have stopped livimg how we were supposed to live as Muslims.

May Allah  strengthen the doors of our heart and keep them clean with His rememberance. May He out of His infinite blessings reward all you for taking time out to learn.
Ameen.

🖋 Read the book WHEN DESIRES TAKE OVER for more information about this topic.  That book talks about all the causes and cures of this disease. 

The book is already posted on my wall! 

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Asalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

How are you all?

Hope you are getting benefited from this book!

If you want me to post on any specific topic or you have questions, ask in the comment section.  Or you can inbox me :)

❤❤ Jazakumullahu khairan. ❤❤

Keep learning and Be happy always :)