Just a toy

5:Alone and Back

"What do you mean?" He asks

"Just... I don't talk about it ever and I want to keep it that way" I said a little defensive

"Ok" he says "well I should um go its getting late" he awkwardly says I just nod

"Good night" he whispers and I whisper it back

I barely know him but I feel more open to him

He was the first guy who didn't use me or force me to do things I didn't want to or make me feel disgusting

I go to sleep and sleep the whole night something I'm not used to

"11:46am?" I question out loud and stretch going down stairs

"You sleep well?" Emily asks looking at me

"Yea I slept all night and I feel really good ya know" I look at her with a smile on my face

"Thats so good dear" Emily smiled hugging me

"Whats so good?" I heard Harry and turned to him

"Um I slept all night with out nightmares" I avoided eye contact

"Congrats" he offered a soft smile and I took it

"What would you like for breakfast Harry?" She asked him

"Pancakes" he said still having a raspy morning voice walking out the kitchen

Me and Emily talk until shes done and she serves food for me and Harry which we both eat in the kitchen which was weird until he started some small talk

"Knock knock" he starts off another joke

"Ugh who's there" I roll my eyes with a smile
"Woo" he says
"Woo who?"
"Don't get to excited its just a knock knock joke"

We both start laughing hysterically "Your so stupid Harry" I continue to laugh
"What we laughing about?" Emily walks in
"Harrys horrible Knock Knock jokes" I giggle "HEY!" He acts offended

"When Harry was just 5 and I gave him his first journal all he would write was these horrible knock knock jokes and sometimes I just had to laugh at how cute he was" she smiles at the memory

"And still is" he smirks "Of course you are"

I love seeing this childish silly side of Harry there so much I don't know about him then want to know he intrigues me

"Well I got school to go to I'll be back laters" he smile hugging Emily and surprising me when he hugged me

I tried not to flinch but did anyway as he left I felt so confused with myself

----------------

I wake up screaming and crying having the same occurring nightmare I've had all the time of being kidnapped and torture and then the one of my parents crying because of me

I cry harder and harder just thinking of what I put my parents through the pain and despair they must of felt

I wrap my arms around my knee's and cry as my thoughts take over as my mouth repeats "Its all my fault, Its all my fault"

I see my door opening figure that its Emily but it wasn't

"O my god" I hear a male voice knowing its Harrys

But continue to repeat "its all my fault"

"No its not Cassidy its not nothing is" I hear

And then my body blocks his voice out