Melting the ice (Jelsa)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Just a few more chapters and possibly an Epilogue. Idk, that could change, just giving y'all a heads up :-) also, I'm trying to stall Jack's decision. Yep, I'm that mean ;) enjoy!

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Queen Elsa

I feel drained. Everything just feels like it dropped on my shoulders. I'm just. So. Exhausted.

I feel Hans' presense behind me - what he's doing there, I don't know. Possibly just watching me with his pitying brown eyes. I don't need his pity. Or maybe he's here to kill me. I don't know which option sounds better.

I feel the cold, bitter ice against the skin of my hands. It's funny how I'm still feeling this. I thought I'm too exhausted to feel anything. I thought I'd gone numb, but apparently not. I decide to concentrate on the ice, so cool against my skin. Something slips down my face; a tear. It freezes even before it can make its way down my cheek. The salty tear stings at my cheeks once it had turned into ice. I swipe it away, not able to bear the pain that the tiny, crytallized tear brought.

I almost laugh at the irony; I was able to endure years of isolation but I can't stand this tear.

I frown. I can feel footsteps against the ice. They are faint, weak and drained, just like me. But they still keep going, getting closer. I'm confused. Who is this? Anna?

But no, my sister is dead. Another pang. She's dead, because of me. I choke back a sob, trying to get the picture of my sister's dead body out of my mind.

The footsteps stop in front of me and I vaguely hear the soft voice that belonged to someone supposedly dead.

"No!"

There's a loud clang, like metal meeting something... Ice, maybe? It has a big impact, on its surroundings and also to me. Because something inside me clicks.

I know that voice.

But no, she's dead! Hans just said so! Did he lie? Maybe! There's always that chance. Maybe my sister isn't dead! Should I get my hopes up again?

Biting my lip, I dare look up and immediately regret it. Anna isn't dead - at least she wasn't earlier. But now... She stands before me, as a frozen statue. She's shiny and blue and... she's ice. Like a life-sized ice sculpture. My initial reaction is denial.

This is not my sister. It can't be. It's not her voice I heard earlier, that was just a figment of my imagination. This must be some kind of harsh joke, a prank or whatever.

This is not Anna. I refuse to believe it.

But deep inside, I know, I just know, that this is my sister. The one I desperately tried to protect. The one I love so much I separated myself from her just so she wouldn't get hurt. The one who was so innocent and naïve, she thought I could come back and take away winter in the blink of an eye.

"Anna." I find myself whispering her name, wishing and hoping she would respond. That somehow, she would still be able hear me.

But she remains still and unmoving, the ice glistening under the afternoon sun, but not thawing. Like the ice in my heart. That's when it hits me. She's gone.

She's really gone.

And it's all my fault.

And then I'm hugging her, hanging limply on her side as I clutch on to my dear sister. I know what it's like to lose someone you love - my parents died years ago - but this. This is too much pain. So much agony that it almost feels foreign, yet it isn't. I've felt it before.

I sob, embracing her cold, lifeless body in my warmth. The little that's left of it. I sob, each tear sending me a harsh wave of pain but I ignore it. Nothing, and I mean nothing can live up to the pain I am feeling right now.