She loved those rides; to the point she actually felt disappointed at the destination reach.
Prologue
Everytime it felt like heaven upon meeting you - tiptoed to your apartment giggling all the way to the 7th floor and panting cursing the messed up neighborhood fantasising about our mansion.
I made myself believe you were sleeping alone, until I dreamt of you. It was so convincing to fall in love with you - might think? but no!
I fell in the wrong direction.
My oh my! my friends and even sister did not trust him. His black leather jacket put out a reputation - "he lost that the other day" I mocked defending My Boy - always doing by best to absolve him from any thoughts anyone might have about him.
"How could you let him haunt you every night?" Norah shouted at me through the live Instagram video chat.
"I am not, ahg! fuck this curse. I am hurt; Girl my energy is wearing thin." I uttered.
"What's the plan? you can't keep on hurting by someone who doesn't know you exist."
"Hey! No! I can't," I agreed no point in deniaing "remember when I told you we snuck out?" I reminded her.
"yeah?"
"well I forgot to say, he took my breath away. I felt the magic - I couldn't explain. But I did not say what I wanted to say. You know I don't wanna walk away, maybe it's a phase. Yet I am not sure it did us part. You think I am dreaming?" I spoke; feeling my heart lighting up.
Norah said nothing for a while, so I looked at my phone screen wondering if I lost the connection it's been really tough after the recent storm in the area. But she was just looking at me, "What?" I asked waiting for a reply.
"He makes you a better writer M," She smiled.
I grinned, "A better writer ha? the idiot doesn't even get my writings."
"Listen bbe; if you wanna do this tell him clearly. I am in with You on this, but if you don't then Woman up and move on!" Norah said, knocking some sense in me. It was always her part - she's the senseable one.
"Hmm, I don't know. I don't know if I even feel anything. Maybe I'm living a nightmare; I mean I imagine my life so well without him. But in my dream he was with me and it felt like this is how it should be. And then; when I woke up I had everything I wanted. I don't get it!" I sigh in need of a breather.
"What do you want?" She asked her so typical rhetorical question, "Do what you want! either that be running in the rain or call him and meet up."
"I can't pull such strings," I stated.
"You will only know for sure when you finally do something, get out of your "perfect man" bubble. There's no such thing bbe" She told me; her tone so sincere.
I felt the need to spill a tear, "You know what, I kinda miss him." She gave me a look, and I nodded "okay, I really miss him; but that's just me crying in the shower while he probably just fucked someone in his."
"M! darling you don't know that! it's not your typical story but he's actually a normal guy and you're living in a normal world. I am sorry it's not perfect sinario, and I am sorry when you think of his name it's not the skyline rainbow or fireworks or a perfect moonlight and stars." Norah argued.
"I know, I know, It's reality and I will have to deal with the smoke both coming out from his mouth and polluted air around," I continued.
"Exactly," She gave a short laugh.
"For a moment I didn't need to see it to believe it; just like all the things I convinced myself were going on. I want to run N." I said looking away; drawing random shapes on the notebook I had beside me.
"I don't know when did you grow so sensetive - he did not even call you when you were sick; just don't keep on hoping it's him. That you ignore - that he's not good enough." Norah said, and I just listened.
'but babe I hope it's you,' my thoughts going Fnatic inside my head.
"Heyyy, are you listening?" She asked.
I hummed swiftly moving on, "the more that you give - the more you'll wish it was the both of you. So live your dreams and stop the paranoia!" She ended.
"Okay, I'm still learning," I smiled, knowing my self esteem is going down the road the past few months.
"Anyway, got so much online studying shit to do - gotta go."
"Okay girlfriend; be less scared and go get yourself a tattoo" She joked.
"Yeah cause, coronaVirus check is all I need on a Sunday morning!" I giggled, signing with my hand.
She laughed, "Yeah about that! stay at home. Cancel on the meeting up with him plan."
I laughed and we ended the call soon after.
Silence leaving me in a confession room all alone, I decided to get my studying game up ahead and get cracking on the assignments I would be having due in a few days to stop my panting head.
After a few hours, I decided to get myself a hot drink scrolling on my WhatsApp messages going back and forth about texting him at 5 AM in the morning. I hadn't even noticed it's that late already; I had a bit of messed up sleeping schedule the past few days.
However I decided to text him a simple 'Hey' and leave my phone - maybe catch up on an episode or two of Lucifer. I caught myself smiling at the thought; for a second it felt wrong to text him at the moment yet didn't feel like a sin.
I signed at the change of heart and principles I have had recently. Shivering; as I sipped on my drink. I retrieve a memory of us on a cold night after a long college day having a conversation about how people change, and I remember just how convinced I was by him as he argued just how it's okay to change denying my throey of good/ bad change.
I had the stragest feeling at the time, a smile played on my lips as I nodded my head. "You don't belive any of what I am saying do you?" he'd asked me.
and I remeber being able to come up with hundreds of reasons not to, but I just said nothing then replied with a simple "wish things were this easy."
I threw my phone away, mocking my train of thought. I can't get over the idea of you; he wasn't even there to begin with.
I am a prisoner of my brain; I'm tied to my horrendous thoughts. Need to escape this room,
Hello beautiful readers, can't believe it's been soo long! and yet I remeber the intro / end game of mine 😆😆
I Have missed this plat form so much. 😢😢
1190 Words!
18th March, 2020
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Took me almost 1 hour and 30 mins for the cover 😂😂
Mimi 😇
New Cover By vhentii Incredible Artist. On 4th of May, 2020 🎁✔
Such a Talent She will be My Exclusive Treasure 😉😊
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