Love in the meadows

52. My whole world

Jackson rushed around the farm like a whirlwind on a distraction mission, his brothers and pa attempting to find out what he needed while he rambled on at no one in particular. Once Benjamin had twigged what his brother was attempting to do he rallied the family together, gathering what Jackson required, piling up the cart. "Will you come see her?" He paused placing his last items in his pockets "it is a shocking sight..."
"She is still my princess, of course I will."
"Aye me too, I will load victory, perhaps he will help, he would follow her around as he does you, perhaps she will remember him or at least he may bring her some comfort?" Noah fetched his dog tying him in the back of the cart

"Let us show our girl who we are jack my boy. I am so very proud of you son, you're a good man and an even better husband. We still have to have that chat over an ale boy, do not think I have forgotten." charlie laughed
"Aye pa, I do not think I need those lessons at present but we will have an ale together pa, I would like that." Jackson smirked at his pa shyly
"Jackson" Mary came running out "you can try this" she handed him his pocket watch "I am sorry I touched your things again"
"No little one you are fine, thank you, aye she may recognise her father's pocket watch. If I can not bring her to the farm, I will bring the farm to her. Up you go you can watch victory for me" Jackson smiled lifted Mary into the cart along with victory and half the farm house he'd loaded in the back hopeful Nellie would recognise the familiar items.

They pulled up outside the lane's house in the village, the boys riding their horses, Jackson taking Mary, Charlie and victory in the cart. He sighed uneasily at the sight of the Westtown car parked outside.
"He is her brother, he means well." Charlie squeezed his sons shoulder "he feels guilty over her upbringing still. He told me himself after he'd had far too much whiskey. He says Ray is fixated on her wellbeing but he is equally as attached. He is as distressed as Raymond is over her current state he is just better at hiding behind the Westtown mask, give him time."
"My Nell does not have the luxury of time. She is still my wife pa and I will be a faithful devoted husband as I have been for two years now, whatever their opinion of me I have not strayed from my wife, not once, I still can not believe he accused me of such a thing pa, Toby knows me, he knows I would not be unfaithful. I hear what folks say but My Nellie is my whole world, I will prove myself to all of them, whatever it takes. I will prove I am a good man, I will prove to them that I love my Nell."

"Toby was just speaking out of frustration son, do not take it to heart. You turned down the army's relief visits I take it son." Charlie gave out a quiet chuckle at his son.
"Aye, I did. They thought me mad" he chuckled back
"As they did me son, you are my boy alright. I am so very proud of you Jackson. Now Fletcher, he did not turn down the company of the women. In his mind he was already divorced from her I think. He knew about her loose ways so did not see his actions as immoral. Perhaps they were not. I have to say I did not think less of my friend, even more so now I know the suffering she caused our girl in there."

"If she does not improve jack, no one will think less of you if you..."
"I have told you before, I do not require it. I would like it, do not think me....only with my Nell pa, only ever with my Nellie. I know you do not approve but I am glad I laid with my girl before I left, I cling to the memories. if they touched her in that manner then at least it was me who took her innocence, I would have been horrified if they had taken it from her brutally, so I have no regrets over my actions. If they have forced themselves on my girl at least she knows that is not what it is supposed to be like, as she would have done if I had not shown her otherwise. It is the furthest thing from my mind currently. I would much prefer to see a smile, to hear her voice or just to know she knows who I am, do you think me less of a man, pa?"
"No I regard you more a man than any I know jack. You ever need to discuss these things my door is always open son, you are a married man now, if you need to discuss certain things with me you may, with no shame or embarrassment and our conversations will remain between us."