We Don't Choose Love

Chapter 16

Liyana

Do I regret last night with Shuiab? No. It was fucking amazing, I can't stop daydreaming about the six rounds of really rough, animalistic sex we had during a school night. It really did make me fall in love with him even more because wow... I didn't know I could scream like that and lose my ability to walk for quite some time. And I know we were loud cause Aaliyah looked like shit this morning from trying to drown out 'our porn movie' sounds.

But do I regret getting high and sleeping for 2 hours when I have a long ass Wednesday? Yes, I do and I want to cry. Just to think I finish at 5:30pm today. To be honest, I'm still a bit high and sitting is a bit uncomfortable for the moment... Shuiab was really rough, like a sex demon.

Leslie taps me on my arm, bringing me back to reality. The lecturer drones on and I slowly turn my head towards to Leslie. "What?"

She blinks a couple of times, "Usually it's me who is this fucked but today we switched roles. Are you ok?" I sigh a bit loudly causing a few people surrounding us to glance at me. "Yes Leslie. Why would you think I'm not fine?"

"You're wearing your sunglasses instead of your prescribed glasses, you are dressed like as if you just rolled out of bed and immediately headed to school and you haven't written or heard anything from since school started. What happened to you last night?"

I sigh again, looking lazily forward towards the lecturer but he isn't paying attention to us. We are sitting at the back row nearby the exit door that leads to the staircase which leads to the ground floor. I decide to take off my glasses to which Leslie gasps loudly to.

"Holy Shit! You look so... so-"

"High. I know ok. I had like 3 weed gummies yesterday and had sex with Shuiab. By the way the sex was amazing!" Leslie widens her eyes before laughing her head off silently.

"Wow! Look at you, being all high and horny and stuff." Of course Leslie would say something like that. To think she has never been kissed before. "So exactly why are you here today?"

"Cause of the tutorial and pracs we have today." She smacks her hand against her face, "We don't have the physics session today, it was cancelled. I can ask my cousin to take you home." If I had the energy, I would have cartwheel down the stairs but now I don't want to break my arms.

"Thank you Lord Jesus! I feel like I'm gonna pass out. So which cousin? The hot one who fetched you when we all got drunk?" She shakes her head, "Nah, my other cousin. Ok he is my cousin's cousin. Let me just text him now so he'll be here after our tutorial test."

"What does he study?" I ask, not really interested. My mind is back to Shuiab. I never thought in a million years I would have sex with anybody else besides Lucky. I won't lie, I still love Lucky and a small part of me wants him to come back and try to make our relationship work. But at the same time, I'm really falling in love with Shuiab. I love the way Shuiab is.

We are complete opposites, racially, religiously, economically but all those things don't matter to me when it comes to him. He treats me like I'm his whole world and genuinely loves me, he doesn't mind that sometimes I call him Lucky by accident, he understands that I love Lucky and he respects that. Not many guys will be willing to accept that.

I don't know what I'd do if Lucky came back and asked to be with me. I don't know how I would choose between Lucky and Shuiab. I'll always love Lucky but I'll always remember that he gave up on us before we even tried the whole long distance thing, which genuinely hurts me. It sucks.

I realise that Leslie is telling me about her cousin's cousin and I didn't hear a Damn thing about him. Oops.

This high is making me overthink shit. Soon after our tutorial test ends, Leslie and I exit the room immediately. "My cousin is here. Let's go, he has been dying to meet you."