To the person who will replace my part for Haley's life,
I am sorry because she came to you with a damaged soul. I am sorry for what I have caused. But I hope you will hold her with great love.
She will love you unconditionally like what she did to me. She will give you her own moon and sun, she will give you everything that she could give you. You will just have to extend your patience and understanding. I hope you will understand her because that is what I have failed to do. I hope you will give everything that she deserves.
Don't worry if our memories will bother you... just give her better memories because I was an atomic bomb, I was a world full of bullets and chemical warfare. Please give her flowers, butterflies and rainbows. Bring her to an amazing world. She loves huskies, stick Os, good food, cozy bed and heights. Take her to that world. She will support you with everything because she is that person. and I never deserved her.
In three weeks, we couldve been celebrating our fifth year but somethings.. have gotten worse. I dont know if flames sometimes turn into dust. I wanted to let the love take its advances but we both know that it had been too much. Understanding has lost its way between us. I hope... you will listen to all her perceptions even if it's hard. I hope you will find your way to stay silent and let her win. Just let her win the argument. Shut up and let her be on top. I hope you will listen to every detail of her stories. Please do that.
She loves her family so much and I hope you will too. Her family can be too much on her, abusive, but you can't argue with that, please don't, especially for her cousin. I hope you will also love her with freedom that you dont have to hide in the closet because she deserves that.
Please keep her healthy. Sometimes, her immune system fucks up but take care of her in every way that you can. Let her eat all the food that she wants even if it's just rice and gravy and please do eat the chicken if she doesnt want it. She will do anything for you and I hope you will do the same. She likes nice lipsticks and eyelashes curlers too and remind her shes beautiful every damn time she fixes herself up, okay?
Do love her consistently and dont ever change. She hates changes.
She's a great driver so trust her. Just remind her to use the indicators all the time because that's what shes bad at. Always love her down every time she needs it because it's something that I also failed at. Love her. Love her in every way that you can and make her forget about the worst memories that she had about me.
Make her forget that she was damaged.
She was also a dad's princess so please do the responsibility to take her to her dad's tomb because she had been failing to visit her dad for years. Push her.
Push her and motivate her to do better. She doesnt know how good she is when it comes to working but continue to believe in her until she believes in herself too.
Nina.
March 20, 2020
6:02 PM
