Just how do things look for Americans in the year 2050? This is the beginnings of the answer.
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CHAPTER TWO - CURRENT TIMES: “To this day Professor Schwartz had lived out most of his comatose existence in low-security institutions that mirrored the appearance of correctional facilities, institutions that came in all shapes, sizes and could have even been, for example, churches, museums, or airport terminals at one time, or another. Security could range from armed sentries to part- time help from local temporary agencies. Facilities could be high- security, prison-like places, or low-security, prison-like places and all generally had chain link fences surrounding them.
The place Patient No. 112 now called home was Grey Hall Sanitarium, an all-male facility and former elementary school, a red brick with white trim building surrounded by a chain link fence and an impenetrable wall of shrubbery that kept the tenants of the surrounding housing project and inmates free from seeing, though not from smelling or hearing one another. Grey Hall was a low-security facility where patients were docile, heavily sedated, only partially clothed and stinky.
During our hero’s time at Grey Hall, or any of the myriad of facilities the former scholar had once called ‘home,’ the former big cheese never uttered a coherent word, was often seen drooling, and frequently just stared off into oblivion…something his former colleagues would have thought a sign of intelligence. There was no higher consciousness, no brain waves to speak of, just the mind of a primitive with those blank, blue eyes occasionally blinking. That goofy smile unexpectedly appeared then, just as suddenly, disappeared…and the stench…the reekiness of his countenance remained a constant reminder that it needed to rain soon. Whew! It needed to rain REAL soon!
His records gave no age, no indication of where the former faculty member had come from, or why he had been admitted, even though the last point was fairly obvious. The answers to those and other relevant questions had gone up in smoke during the Food Stamp Riots of 2025.
By 2050, over eighty percent of citizens were wards of the State: alcohol, pot, crack, crank, uppers, downers, hallucinogens, et cetera, et cetera, had become legal for anyone above the age of fourteen, and the republic’s economy was still mired in what the media establishment were calling “The Greatest Depression of All Time,” still claiming the Republican Party were the ones at fault, still forgetting the Republican Party had ceased to exist some two decades earlier.
The empire was bankrupt, the money was worthless and the private sector…well the private sector had been taxed into nothingness and was now predominately owned by the Department of Bankruptcy. Literacy had fallen to such a low juncture most Americans could neither read nor write and English…English was now being called something else depending on the region of the country, either Ebangish (Pronounced ē-bang- ish), or Egangish (Pronounced ē- gang- ish), or Edangish (Pronounced ē- dang- ish): Ebangish-Egangish-Edangish.
In the past, the odd slang of uneducated people had been back stage, only in use when people moved in and out of different cultural situations. Now, those once strange localisms were up front, center stage and embraced by the entire nation. What had started out as local social snafus had become national treasures with phonetics the centerpiece and star attraction. Americans were using sounds for pronouncing words, for spelling out terms, for writing expressions and for making up utterances. Sounding expressions out was fun and well within the grasp of today’s masses…a truly, wonderful and wondrous thing.
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WTF! This is a Liberal Utopia!
UmorismoReview by: Bob Buchanan on July 17, 2014 : "Can I aks yous a question? Don't go into the bidness, you will end up writn legislation! Yur Congressmn will be beatin on ur do...Seriously! Hilarious read, hopefully no one in any way connected to our cu...