WTF! This is a Liberal Utopia!

Chapter 1 "Early Background"

Answers to where this story began…in the year 2020.

A free e-novel, you can download WTF! This is a Liberal Utopia! in a variety of formats including: Kindle, Nook, PDF, ePub, text at Smashwords.com using links on my website: http://fbthompson3.com; or take a look at my experiment of tweeting the novel using ‘text and pictures’ within tweets featured on this site using a “Table of Contents” to navigate your way through the comedic serial on liberalism.  I believe you will find the experience an ‘all new’ way of reading the novel.

CHAPTER ONE - EARLY BACKGROUND: “Our story literally got underway some thirty years ago on one fine, spring day in the year 2020. Our hero, Professor Felix Schwartz, was walking with one of his underage students, feigning interest in their conversation, busy admiring her curves, preoccupied with not-so-nice introspection. Without warning, the last thing he recollected seeing was the front end of an oncoming ‘Mack truck’ then…then the lights went out.

For three decades our hero lived a life in complete bliss, void of any thought, unaware that the country was going through some major transitions around him. By the year 2050 his fraternity of buddies had long since left him, and moved to France to escape what had become the greatest liberal republic on earth.

The Ivy League faculty member was oblivious to his current living conditions, quality of the meals he ate, or the single garment the former professor wore. Nevertheless, as it turns out, Schwartz was in a great situation, one of the best places to be considering the state of this “New, Future America.”

In that thirty years our hero’s appearance had degenerated into something bordering on the comical, nothing like his undusted, venerable portrait hanging askew on one of the walls of the now-shuttered Butler Library of the now-shuttered Columbia University campus. The academic’s hair was unkempt, oily, long, stringy, and a mix of white and grey. The former “educator-indoctrinator” was no longer clean-shaven, but now sported something resembling a bird’s nest. It was bushy and doubled as a dust bunny broom on those nights when the overcrowded conditions forced him to snooze on the floor. The fashionable ascot the scholar was pictured wearing under a fashionable tweed jacket with elbow patches had been replaced by a less than fashionable doggy collar and something resembling an untied hospital gown. Instead of the bright, intelligent smile, the academician now often wore an imbecilic grin that showed off what remained of his yellowed, stained teeth. The nails of his hands and feet were long and un-manicured. The last time it rained was a week ago, consequently the academic smelled a lot like his sanitarium residence: a mixture of bleach, porridge, urine and schiessen all combined into one pungent, toxic, vile form of air pollution that accompanied the former guru wherever he went.

“Wait a minute, what is ‘schiessen?’”

Schiessen (pronounced shy-zuh) is Swiss for “shit” and is used throughout this book in speculation that it might someday become required reading, if not in American Literature classes, then abroad in studies on the rise and fall of the United States of America. Casual, or speed readers, those who skim through the pages not reading every important, carefully chosen and articulated word will likely not even notice the replacement, but obviously you…you must be one of those who eagerly devours every word, perhaps even reading the whole nine yards out loud. For you the exchange should come as a blessing…especially if there are youthful innocents around. So, now that I’ve addressed your question, let’s get back to the professor…

“Wait one more minute, why the Swiss version, why not use some other nationality’s word for shit?”

Cuz dear reader, the differing options: mierda (Spanish), schießen (German), cac (Irish), дерьмо (Russian), stront (Dutch), צואה (Hebrew), σκατά (Greek), dritt (Norwegian), et cetera, et cetera, just did not have the same kind of zing as schiessen…well, possibly “cac” (pronounced KAK, or KAHK) would also work, but the others…the others just didn’t have the same kind of zing to them, or they were simply incomprehensible for most who might pick up this book…so, can I move on?