We Remain

Chapter 6

Peeta POV*

"Peeta, Peeta, no," I hear Katniss murmur against my lips. I think she's saying go. But she didn't. There's something in her voice that makes me draw back and look down at her. Her face is scarred, but it's beautiful, her grey eyes filled with horror and sadness.
"Katniss, please, let me have this," I beg. It's been 12 years since the war, no games, no uprisings. I'm gonna be 29 soon, she's 28. I want children. I want them so badly.
"Peeta, I'm sorry, I can't," she says as she rolls out from under me and bolts to the bathroom. Closing it behind her. I plop on my back and put my hands over my face. Why did I even try? She won't ever want kids. I'm such an idiot for thinking that maybe she would just loosen up a bit. And see me. See how much I want to hold a baby in my arms. My baby. Our baby.
I feel pounding in my head. I shut my eyes tight as I fist my hair. Not now, not now!I grit my teeth dangerously and grunt. I see Him. I see my prep team being slaughtered in front of me. I feel the pain of them beating me. I hear Johanna Mason scream. I see Katniss looking up at me horrified as I choke her. I see dark. And then it fades away slowly. I shake till I open my eyes and take deep breaths. I've had worse, I think as I calm down.
I want to sleep, but not without Katniss. I wait until the bathroom door opens and Katniss makes her way over to the bed and lays down.
"Katniss, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong," I say.
Katniss turns to me and sniffled. She's been crying. "Peeta, I know you want kids, but don't you realize how hard that's gonna be for me?"
I do, and I can help her through it. I can help her find happiness again, if there is none in her.
"I know, but we've had this discussion, Katniss, I understand," I breath out as I stroke her cheek with my thumb. It's soft and rugged, a bit wet.
I wrap my arms around her and held her tight, not too tight, but to the point where it's protective. I kiss her head and close my eyes.