What about everything else?

Chapter One

I don't know what I'm doing or how exactly to put words down onto the page. Every time I put the tip of my pen down to write out my thoughts.. my mind goes completely blank.

How in the hell am I supposed to do this? Millions of people have put their words and feelings on paper but for some reason, I just can't.

After a full hour of trying to vent, I chuck my pen across the room and drop my head into my hands. Tears leak from my eyes through my fingers and yet my body feels completely numb.

They say it's better to have loved at all then to never have loved at all.

What a load of shit!

I never would've felt this way if I had just stayed at home that night. I never would have met him and I would probably be happy.

Our entire relationship plays in my head and I can feel my chest restricting in agony. A sob leaps from my lungs and I stumble to my bed. I have never felt this way before. No one told me a broken heart would seemingly shatter your entire world.

After a while my pillow is soaked but my eyes have finally dried. I still feel numb but my stomach does a loud rumble and I remember that I haven't eaten anything today.

I get up from bed and pass my floor length mirror without so much as glance in its direction. I know I look like I've been hit by a train. There's no reason to make myself feel worse about it.

Mom hears me coming down the stairs and distracts herself with the dishes, trying not to stare at my blotchy face and bloodshot eyes. She knew Blaze and I had broken up, but we weren't really openly close to each other so I spared her the details.

"Finally came down for some food, huh?" She gives me a little smile. "There's some leftover lasagna in the fridge from lunch."

She gives me a kiss on the top of my head and leaves the kitchen, giving me some space I suppose. I get the food out and put some on a plate to microwave. Once it's done the microwave beeps and at the same time so does my phone.

I sit my food down next to my supper and check my phone while I eat. It's a text from Eloise.

Hey bitch! Come over. We've got to get you out of that house.

A small smile passes over my lips and slightly shake my head. I guess if there's one way to heal a broken heart...

Sounds tempting... what's in it for me? Lol

It only takes a few seconds for El's reply.

I've got some drink and a hell of a lot of smoke with YOUR name on it. Dane please come over. It's not the same with you not here!

My smile gets even bigger. I guess that would definitely take my mind off of Blaze. I scarf down the rest of my lasagna and shoot El a reply.

You got me. I'll be on my way in 10. I love you xo

I run up the stairs and jump on my desk chair. There's no way I can leave the house looking like a squall bag. I powder my eyes and bags and fix up my eyebrows. There's no need to get all fixed up but not looking cute isn't an option. I put on mascara and look critically at myself in the mirror. Good enough.

I decide to just wear my go to black leggings and a t-shirt. Hopefully we'll just be at El's house but even if we do leave I don't look my absolute worst.

"Mom, I'm going to El's house and will probably be staying the night." I yell while racing down the stairs. I slip on my shoes and tug on my light jacket for convenience.