Owahns shrektacular adventure

1

    Long long ago in a land far far away, there lived a small child named Owahn. Owahn was a villager of Herrrtopia; A land known for its fierce and cruel leader, Lord Farquad.
    Owahn had always dreamed of meeting him. He would go to the castle to deliver milk but every time he saw the Lord, the only word that he could muster was "herrr" (villager for 'um uh hi').
    This awkwardness saddened him, for his dreams to meet his idol always felt squashed.
    One day, he was sitting on his front porch thinking of Farquad - when all of a sudden, the most handsome green figure passed before his eyes. He was awestruck by the beauty of this man who he deemed 'almost as hot as Farquad' standing before him.
    Without thinking, he jumped up off his porch step and began to follow behind the sexy beast.
    The man, who Owahn had then realized was an ogre, turned onto a path leading to the swampy part of the forest. Owahn kept his distance so as to not be too suspicious.
    As they continued down the secluded path, Owahn began to feel strange tingles of excitement down his spine. It was like nothing he had ever felt before. His hands were shaking and he felt scared but thrilled.
    After a long and tense walk down this path, they came to a clearing in the woods. There in the middle of it was a small wooden hut covered in moss and bark.
    The sexy ogre marched up to the front door and unlocked it. Owahn couldn't help but notice his bulging muscles flexing through his tight wool tunic.
     When the ogre was inside, Owahn snuck around to the back of the house. There he found a window and decided to peak in.
    It looked to be a bedroom with a saggy hay patched mattress sitting on top of a makeshift wooden stick box stand. The walls were a murky green color with no decoration except for a single wilted flower. All of a sudden, the bedroom door swung open and the handsome ogre walked in.
     Before Owahn had time to react, Shrek stripped off his shirt and threw it in the corner. Owahn couldn't move. The pure beauty of this manly creature was too much for him to handle. He watched as the ogre stretched his back practically drooling.
     Owahn decided to adjust his position to get a better view of the delectable man in front of him but he lost his footing and fell head first into the glass. He felt it shatter before everything became blurry and went black.