Hard to Love - (chanbaek)

44

Am I going to be a monster if I kill someone?

I mean, I almost killed my stepfather a few weeks ago...

But...

Fuck, I don't know.

I don't want to kill anyone.

But dad wanted me to be the leader of this mafia shit.

I don't even know how to kill someone.

I know how to fight and hack. I took some shooting lessons but only with dummies. I never killed anyone...

Would my dad be proud if I killed someone?

If I don't kill the suspect today, will Daesung hyung get angry?

What the fuck do I do-

"BAEKHYUN!"

Baekhyun jumped at the sudden yell. He turned to see his boyfriend with a bag of snacks.

"Oh hi..."

Baekhyun looked up at the cloudy sky and sighed. "You okay? I left for a few minutes to get food, and now you look all sad." Chanyeol pulled him onto his lap with a soft smile. "What's wrong, baby?" He rubbed the smallers arm as he stared into his eyes with concern. "I'm just stressed." Baekhyun laid his head on the giant's shoulder, feeling relief flood over him. He smelled the familiar cologne that he loved greatly. Snuggling closer to his boyfriend, he felt safe and protected.

"What's troubling you?" Chanyeol rubbed his back, trying to soothe the older. "Have you ever had to make a decision, like one that's like do this and feel guilty or don't do it and get consequences for it?" Chanyeol hummed. "It's a decision that will give you trouble with whatever choice you choose." Baekhyun nodded. He felt conflicted and wanted to express all his thoughts and emotions, but...

He was more afraid of how Chanyeol would react when he found out the truth. The gang's rules also restricted him from telling anyone this confidential information, so... he had no choice but to stay silent.

"Do you need help with anything? I can lend you a hand?" Baekhyun shook his head. "It's stuff with my family. I have to figure it out on my own." Chanyeol kissed his neck softly. Baek felt his lips curl at the tickling feeling.

"I understand, but if I see you getting hurt or even more stressed, I'm going to step in." Baekhyun lifted his head and stared at his boyfriend with glossy eyes. "Thank you." Chanyeol smiled before leaning forward, connecting their lips. Baekhyun felt butterflies in his stomach, but his heart hurt even more.

I don't want this to end.

I don't want us to end...

Chanyeol trailed his fingers up and down Baekhyuns waist. "I'm here for you, and I will never leave." Baekhyun felt his eyes begin to burn. It felt like Chanyeol always knew what to say at the right moments.

"Come on, let's eat the goodies I brought. I got you some strawberries~" The taller grabbed the bag with Baekhyun still on top of him.

"Chan?"

Chanyeol raised a brow as he poked his banana milk with a straw. "Hmm, what's up, baby?" His eyes stared at the smaller; he gave him his full attention.

"I really like you."

"I really like you too." He pecked his lips, making Baek giggle. Baekhyun touched his chest. He could feel his heart beating fast.

I don't want this feeling to end.

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"Hyung, hurry up! The car is waiting outside." Daniel whined like a stubborn child. "Daniel, let me put my books away. It'll be quick, don't worry." Baekhyun smiled softly as he opened his locker. Putting his books inside, he wished he could stop time.

The interrogation of the man is getting closer and closer to happening.

I still don't know how I'm going to kill someone...

"Baek!" He closed his locker door and turned his head to find the owner of the voice. "What's up, Soo?" Kyungsoo smiled at him before waving at Daniel. Unlike the angry individuals from their friend group, Kyungsoo didn't find the blond kid as a threat.

"The guys and I wanted to go eat ramen. Do you want to join us?"

Baekhyun looked at Daniel, who only sighed. "Sorry, Soo, my uncle arranged a meeting with Daniel and I, and we have to attend it." Baekhyun pouted, wishing he could go with his friends. "Oh, it's okay... Can you join us tomorrow?" Baekhyun caressed his chin and nodded happily. "Yeah, I'll go with you guys tomorrow!" Kyungsoo smiled bright and pulled his friend into a hug.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow Byun! Bye Daniel!" He waved goodbye before running off to the exit of the school.

"Nice excuse you gave." Baekhyun sent Daniel a glare.

"What was I supposed to say? No, I can't go because I have to-"

"Kill someone? Yeah, that wouldn't sound good." Baekhyun sighed and shook his head. He didn't want to talk about the chilling conversation.

"Let's go. I'll ask hyung to buy us frozen yogurt."

They walked to the exit and saw the usual black car waiting for them.

"Baekhyun! Daniel! Hurry up. I'm hungry!" Baekhyun facepalmed as he heard his uncle yell. Students looked at the pair in confusion. "Heechul hyung!" Daniel ran to the older, engulfing him in a hug. Baekhyun walked to the car while hiding his face inside his hoodie.

"Yah, Baekhyun! Why is Daniel happier to see me than my own nephew, huh!?" The said boy shook his head and pulled onto the locked car door.

"I'm tired and hungry... frozen yogurt?" Baekhyun pouted his lips and made his promising puppy eyes. "Sure, we'll buy some before we head to Daesung's house. Get in, so we're not late!" Baekhyun nodded as he opened the car door.

"Hyung..."

Baek looked up to see Daniel pointing towards the left. He turned his head and saw his friends staring at them. He noticed his boyfriend smile and wave without hesitation. "Text me when you get home!" He heard the giant yell. He waved back and smiled.

"I will!!!"

He got into the car with a bright grin. Heechul smirked at him before winking.

"Is that the boyfriend?" Baekhyun turned bright red at the sudden question. He nodded quickly.

"Awww, my little boy is in love~" He hid his face in his hands from embarrassment. His uncle had begun singing sappy love songs with Daniel, who was right next to him.

"You guys are annoying..." He mumbled while staring out the window. "Huh? Annoying, you say? No yogurt for you then!" Baekhyun immediately apologized and begged his uncle for forgiveness. The car had been filled with giggles and chatter. Baekhyun felt happy, but the thought of what's to come was still present inside of his head.

I've made up my mind.

I want to tell my friends the truth before it gets worse...

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