Your words...
Your actions...
Are quite confusing.
I sometimes deal with hesitations inside my head, but I chose to hold on to what I've started—what we've started actually.
I do regret what I've done, but there's no turning back.
We can't do that—I can't.
I've chosen to ruin my future, but I've had fun. In the first place, it is; but when it turned out like this, It felt the opposite.
I should've... But couldn't...
I stumbled, fell and got back up.
I did, but I've got scars that can't be removed—forever.
The worst part is that it hunts me.
Those stupid things. It dargs me and still dragging me, not to my grave but to my conscience.
Deep down, it hurts, but I needed to fix my self, temporarily.
I needed to move forward not for me because I've left my self the day I've started ruining my life.
It's for my kids now.
Moving forward doesn't mean I have already moved on. It is still here. It just doesn't leave me like these scars that kept reminding me those hillarious moments, embarrassments, and failures.
I just have this life and precious kids to treasure, but I can't have that freedom because I am still imprisoned with the nightmares of my past.
I hope that someday I get what I wanted... I guess I'm not just satisfied with just being like this. I feel small. I feel stupid like what they make me feel.
