Brothers To The Bitter End

29

3 weeks earlier

Bruce nervously adjusted his bow tie as he looked in the mirror. Clark Kent walked in and grinned. "Nervous, Bruce?"

"Me, nervous? Pft, I'm Batman. I don't get nervous."

Clark chuckled. "C'mon, man, I was so scared when Lois and I got married I almost wet my pants. And you look as terrified as I felt."

Bruce sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I love her, I know I do. So why am I so scared?"

Clark shrugged. "It's a big step in your life, trust me. But you're making a great decision. Selina is an amazing woman, and you're lucky to have her."

Bruce gave his friend a strained smile. "Thanks, Clark."

"C'mon, let's get you finished and out to the church!"
*********
"Why are we here again?" Damian asked sullenly as he, Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Alfred, Cass, Wally, Roy, and Titus all squeezed into the tiny balcony ringing the upper half of the church. There were so many flowers up here that no one would be able to see them, but with the proper positioning the party crashers could see everything.

"Look, Dami, Bruce might be an idiot and a jerk, but we still owe it to him to be here. This is a huge step in his life, and he deserves support." Dick patted Damian on the head.

"Even if he doesn't know we're here?" Damian whined.

"It doesn't matter if he knows or not. We know. And that's what's important."

Jason sniggered. "We're also here to play a few harmless pranks on the newlyweds."

"Now that sounds like a good reason to be here," Damian said approvingly.

Alfred watched them and said, "Just make sure you don't do anything too drastic."

"Don't sweat it, Alfie," Stephanie said smoothly, hefting a fifty pound bag of rice, "we Robins know exactly how to prank someone properly."
*******
"And do you, Bruce, take Selina to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The priest, who looked suspiciously like Arthur, asked.

"I do." Bruce's eyes shone as he stared at his soon to be wife.

"And do you, Selina, take Bruce to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." Selina could barely believe how perfect this all was.

"If there are any objections to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace." Arthur frowned. Wasn't that supposed to come earlier in the ceremony.

Taylor Swift's Speak Now began blasting through speakers in the church that no one even knew existed. Bruce and Selina's shocked faces were forever commemorated on Tim's phone, as he was the "official" Batfam photographer and videographer for the ceremony.

Before anyone could get up and investigate the noise, it abruptly shut off. Arthur glanced around before continuing. "I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

As Bruce and Selina's lips met in a passionate kiss, Disney's Kiss the Girl blasted through the speakers, barely managing to cover up the laughter of the hidden Batfam (with the notable additions of Roy and Wally). Once again, just as someone was about to investigate, the music shut off.

Bruce and Selina, proving that love was deaf, dumb, and blind, didn't notice anything as the walked out the church, arm in arm. People threw rice at them in handfuls, but just as they were about the exit the church, a large, mysterious, fifty pound bag of rice upended itself onto the couple. And the couple once again paid no attention despite the fact that rice was getting into places that rice should never be.