Sorry I haven't updated in ages - the quarantine hit hard. I stayed in my room without changing and completely isolated myself. I got depressed. Hey, I was nearly suicidal! Anyway, I'm fine now.
So the last 3 weeks have been very very stressful. What's my gender? Trans male? Cis female? Demiboy? Genderfluid? Genderflux? Bigender? Pangender? Polygender? Trigender? WTH AM I?!
I'm pretty sure I'm trigender but I'm just not sure if I feel female? Or male actually - no, wait, I do. Ffs.
So I was just looking back on my childhood memories and I found some pretty gay ones. Idk why I didn't see the red flags tbh😂
When I was 5 - hated being called as a girl, dressed as a pirate at a pirates and princesses party.
When I was 7 - told my friend I was almost a boy but I also liked being a girl and also nothing. I said this when I was 8 too.
When I was 8 - asked my mum why the 2 women were married. She told me it was because they were very very good friends - better than best friends. She looked at me worriedly - would I be homophobic? Nah. I simply said "can I marry a girl?" She was like "sure!" And I replied with "AWESOME!"
When I was 9 - I am now very confused about my gender. Poor baby Will (they were a she at the time and went by the name of Molly) was terrified. "I don't understand! I feel more boyish than a tomboy but also like a girl! What?!"
Another time when I was 9 - my best friend (Orbee - they're amazing now - so so supportive and I'm so happy) was always Orbee and he is a boy. I was happier with boys as friends but I also liked girls. Anyway, he had a very "feminine" phase (it started when he was like 5 and ended at 11 - tbh I miss it) and I openly admitted that at our "wedding", I would wear the suit and him the dress.
Smol Will (well - Molly) is now 10 - they are talking with their friend about celebrity crushes. Their friend's (let's call her Clover because she's Irish and loves Irish dancing and is amazing at it) is Harry Styles but mine was... wait for it... Emma Watson. Clover immediately goes "that makes you a lesbian" I was like "AWESOME!" and she was like "now I have a lesbian friend!"
YOU ARE READING
My Adventures In Gender
Non-FictionSo I'm just confused about my gender. I searched for stuff like "greygender" and "polygender" to see if it would help and there was nothing. So I can't get support online if my gender isn't even acknowledged. So this is just a journal where I can ta...
