The road to nowhere

Chapter thirteen

As we are about to reach the bottom of the stairs, I am about to change my mind. I want to run as far away from here as I can. But I don't. I refuse to stop myself form facing my own issues with my father. I refuse to be weak. As I get down the last step I stop in my tracks and my feet stay buried in place.

It's dad...

He looks exactly the same as he did five years ago but so different. His hair a little whiter, his eyes a little more tired and somehow he holds himself a little taller, a little stronger and I can't help but wonder, what he has been up to for the past five years. He seems drained of life, stripped of happiness that once overwhelmed his features. He just seems lifeless now like he has got no purpose. I watch him take a sip out of his coffee mug and set it down dropping his head between his arms, his hands lightly wrapped around his mug. He seems nervous. Almost as if he is in court all over again. About to lose us, again.

He looks up and his eyes lock with mine.

Suddenly he seems more nervous than he was just a moment ago. I can't say I blame him. His features light up slightly at the sight of us two and I am suddenly drowned with memories tat involve him and I let them. I let them because I am tired of having to block out any thought of him until now. I was so flooded with the pain of him leaving that I had to redirect my energy into something else and I did. But it was no good. It was my hatred towards him. I hated him because I didn't understand why he would leave us like that but now, I realise just how much my parents couldn't handle one another. They would even argue about how they raised us.

I frown at the thought of it and when I look at his eyes they are full of hope. They are so hopeful I can hardly look at him. I get this urge to run into his embrace and let everything go. I just want to melt into him and let my frustration out.

I try to swallow the lump building up in my throat. But the tears burn their way to my eyes as I try to blink them back. "Dad." I choke as a tear slips down my cheek. I grip Brennen's hand harder in an attempt to calm myself down. But I just start crying harder.

My mouth falls open as tears run down my cheeks. An unintentional sob escapes my mouth. He stands up, his hands shaking and carefully takes a step towards us. It feels as if he's scared I might start going off at him. There's this strange feeling lingering around making me feel this isn't the first time Bren and dad see each other since he left last time. Honestly, I am too occupied with my feelings to pay attention to that miniature detail.

I run into his arms with no hesitation. No matter what I felt towards him, it will never beat the father-daughter bond that we share. I was always his favorite child and I assume it's because I am a girl but not a girly girl. He always felt the need to protect me even when that wasn't completely necessary. I'm proud to say that Bren is just like his father, our father.

"Annabelle." he whispers, aching. Suddenly, I feel his excruciating heartache. I bury my face deeper into his chest and hug him a little harder. Then, I feel Bren's body on both of ours. Dad kisses mine then Bren's forehead. My father is a police officer so he is always carrying some sort of weapon with him when he is on duty. Right now, I can feel two guns on his waist. Something is wrong.

He never used to have guns on him when he was around us. At least not when we were younger anyway. I pull away and look at him in the eyes. They're full of hurt and sorrow but also anger and fear. "Dad? What's wrong?" I blurt our sniffling and wiping my tears.

"Take a seat." he says with a long sigh.