The L Diaries

March 26th, 2020

Let's talk about today..
Today has been so boring considering we are in the middle of a world crisis at the moment. This Covid-19 virus is taking a toll on everyone and everything. I hope they figure out a vaccine to end this once and for all, but in the meantime we are to shelter in place. Who knew this would actually be happening in this world today. It's scary and so unpredictable with what is going to happen in our future.
I hope everyone stays safe during all this craziness and make sure to take the steps to stay healthy 💛

I haven't left the house in about a week.. and I'm starting to lose my mind slowly but surely. This is definitely also not helping my relationship with my boyfriend either.. We have been in a limbo lately and it's killing me at the moment.. I'm hoping we can get through this and maybe he'll come around to wanting to see me again..

It's somewhat a long distance relationship. We live 2 hours and 45 minutes away from each other. (Thanks Bumble) He is truly a gem and I want to be with him but someone (me) is investing more into the relationship.. so I'm giving him his space during this whole virus lockdown.

We went from seeing each other on the weekends, taking turns back and forth, to every other weekend, until we didn't see each other for three weeks.. and he's distancing our time together more and more now..

I'm not forcing anything and I would love this relationship to actually work, but if he doesn't even want to see me anymore then why try to mend something that will drag on forever and hurt me at the end. Starting to give up hope.

What do you guys think? Should I just keep this "giving him space" act up? Or should I bring it to his attention after this whole virus thing is over?

I was on the west side of the state last weekend because we had to move my brother out of college (because of the virus) and he lives on the west side. I told him I was going to be over there 3 different times and he offered to help, but he never asked what time, what building, nothing. So, that gave me the indication that he didn't want to really help and the fact he didn't even want to see me after not seeing each other for a week.

I'm trying to keep a positive mindset, but it's so damn difficult and I deserve more then just a second thought.. I just feel frustrated and confused..
I don't want to be put on a back burner or ignored.
I have received one text to him this morning. One text. It's now 6:24 and he never replied to the one I send back to him..

I just needed to get this out on paper and maybe doing it this way people might be able to give me some advice. Maybe.. I don't know. We'll see if it works.