The L Diaries

April 3rd, 2020

Today has been an experience.
I finally left the house because I just needed to get away from all this madness.. it's been a weird thing in life.. Who knew this would really be happening!

Anyways, I went up to the cabin today and it was such a beautiful day out today! I'm so excited I was able to see the water again (cabin is on a lake).

This cabin is my happy place. I don't know what I would do without it. It gives me peace and warms my heart looking out over the lake. Knowing dad is overlooking this whole lake from the greatest view of them all..

I miss him.. terribly. I wish I could get his advice right now, but I have to go with my gut and how he would of handled things..

Every girl needs her father. To watch her become the women she's meant to be. To show her how to do this whole life thing properly.

My father was my best friend. I love him and miss him so much.. I want to be the best that I can be but it hurt for me because he's not her to kick my ass into gear. Haha

I want to know his mindset, and what he would have done in this situation. Would I still be living in this house or would I be moved out with my own place..

God has a plan for everyone, there is a plan.. it just sucks that we are not able to get a peek. But that's why we have to put trust in him..

I hope to live a happy normal life with a family and a husband who loves me.. I want that so bad.. I want to have that.
I want to give my husband everything in the world and more and treat him kindly and caringly and lovingly.. and to have that in return.

To have him put effort into our relationship and to not give up on us.. that would mean the absolute dream. All I ask is that he treats me with respect and kindness and communicates so you're not left in the dark

Being left in the dark is the absolute worst because how do you make things better if you have no idea what is happening..

I guess that's all for now..