AoT/SnK~Preferences/Oneshots

Armin ~ Blue Dress {Part Four}

Armin furrowed his brows, still holding (Y/N)'s hand in his own.

"Goodbye?"  It took a moment to process.  Once he had realized she had said, his heart sunk.  What had she meant?  Surely she wasn't...

"(Y/N), you're not... please tell me you aren't planning to-"

"No," she said, shaking her head as she tried to calm down.  "I... it's..." she could not form proper words as she tried to suck in air.  "I tried... so hard to hide it."

"H-hide what?" His voice wavered as he began to worry over what was to  come.  She squeezed his hand, looking off to the ocean.  Tears continued to stream down her cheeks.

"I'm so... so sorry," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Armin reached up and wiped a few tears from her face with his thumb, "(Y/N)... d-don't be sorry," he tried his best to give a smile, and hoped she would ignore his shaking hand.  "Y-you've always told me... never to be sorry.  You shouldn't have to..."

She looked to him again.  "I didn't think it would be this hard.  I didn't... You..." she took in another deep breath, one that quivered as she tried to fight through tears.  "I'm scared."

"Scared of what, (Y/N)?" He spoke with urgency, not liking where the conversation was heading.  He held her hand tightly, the other hand resting on her cheek to make sure she was looking at him. 

"Tomorrow," she started, closing her eyes tightly.  "Tomorrow they're going to take everything away.  My whole life.  I'm not... I've thought about it... for years... I knew it was coming.  I thought I could make it through, but..."

"...(Y/N)... What's happening tomorrow?  What do you mean?" He found that he was tearing up himself.

"Eighteen years...  All I had to do was get through eighteen years, but then... it..." a few tears slipped through her closed eyelids, which she opened slowly.  Suddenly she reached forward, placing both hands on both of his shoulders.

"I don't know what to do, Armin!  I thought I could make it through the night,  I thought I could stay strong, but I know what they're going to do to me!  If this keeps up, I won't last much longer!"  She looked at him with wide eyes that overflowed with tears as she spoke, before allowing herself to collapse onto him as she coughed out a few more sobs.

Armin found that he was frozen.  He could not move, nor speak.  All he could do was watch as the girl he loved broke down right in front of him.  The girl who saved him.  If only he had known just how bad it was for her.  Was it all a disguise?  An escape for her?  The fantasy, the color, it was all for herself, truly.  To keep herself sane, to pretend like everything was okay.  Like she wasn't in pain...

He watched her quivering figure, feeling a few tears fall from his own eyes.  If he didn't do anything... she would disappear.  Everything he loved about her, everything beautiful about her, it would be gone.

"Hey," he said, finally able to speak again.  "Hey, (Y/N), look at me," his voice was quiet, he spoke with affection.  She lifted her glassy eyes to meet his, although she still could not steady her breathing.

He gently placed a hand on both sides of her face, guiding it closer to his until his forehead was pressed against hers.  "Take a deep breath.  Can you do that for me?  Just... close your eyes... and breathe."  She closed her eyes and took in a shaky breath, following with Armin, and let it out slowly.  The two breathed together, although Armin's eyes remained open.  He had desperately been trying to find a solution, some sort of way to save her, just as she had done for him.

After a minute or so, she placed her hands over his and opened her eyes.  Although she was no longer shaking, her eyes and nose were red from sobbing so hard.  Oh, how he despised seeing her cry.