Bluebells ringing.-Vmin Hanahaki

42

It was late when Hoseok got the call. He was sitting on the couch, talking with Jin about the cat video compilation that they'd just watched. It had been a good few hours since he'd returned with Taehyung. Everything felt at ease. Hoseok's phone began to buzz in his pocket. He apologized to Jin before stepping out to the terrace to take the call. The screen showed Jimin's name and face.

"Jimin, what's up?" Hoseok was happy to hear from Jimin.

"Hyung?" Jimin stuttered out, he sounded like he'd been crying and it broke Hoseok's heart. He'd never been as close with Jimin as say, Taehyung, but Hoseok considered Jimin one of his closest friends. They used to share everything with one another, the past two weeks had been hard not talking to him as much or feeling Jimin didn't trust him.

"Jimin, where are you? Are you okay?" He was starting to get worried.

"Can you come to the studio? I don't want to be alone. Please." His voice was barely above a whisper.

Hoseok ran back inside to grab his shoes and apologized to Jin once again before heading out into the cold night. He jogged to the company building, bursting into their studio out of breath and extremely worried. The light was shut off and it was silent, he had for a second worried that Jimin had just up and left.

He was relied to see the younger when he flipped the rooms light switch. Jimin had pushed himself into the far corner of the room, knees up to his chest and head down. There were petals littered all over the floor, Jimin's phone looked as if it'd been disregarded in the middle of the floor.

Hoseok decided that it was probably better to stay calm with the situation. He approached Jimin quietly and sat next to him, placing an arm around him once he'd gotten on the floor. Jimin straightened his back and placed his head on his hyungs shoulder.

"I'm sorry Hobi." He sounded so drained "I just started panicking and you were the first person to come to my mind."

"Don't apologize to me Jimin. I'm glad you called, I want to be here for you Jimin, I really do." He let his thumb rub Jimin's shoulder, an attempt to be comforting. It seemed to work.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, are you mad at me?" He sounded so defeated. He refused to look up or make eye contact with Hoseok.

"Jimin, you wanted to wait. Why would I ever be mad at that? I was a little confused as to why you did want to wait but I'd never be mad at you actually waiting." Hoseok smiled down at Jimin even if he refused to look up at him.

"I think I should've told you all sooner, but I was worried that you guys wouldn't accept my decision to not get the surgery."

"You were right about that in a way though."

"I guess I was."

"Jimin, I want you to know that I support you 100% and I'll back you up on your decision. Obviously I don't want to lose you, but I firmly believe that it's your choice and I'll always love and support you no matter what you chose."

"Hoseok?"

"Yes Jimin?"

"You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. How alone I've felt over the past two days. I knew that not everyone would be completely on board with my decision, but you guys are my family and I feel as if not everyone has taken into account what I actually want and what I feel is best. Not that I'm mad or anything, honestly I get where they're coming from. Maybe I am being selfish, but it's my body and I just want to be able to deal with this in my own way and it just feels like everyone's forgotten that it is me." Jimin had started crying somewhere along the way during his speech.

Hoseok instantly felt guilty. Though he hadn't been the one to get upset, he'd sat there and let it happen. He'd wanted to say something both times the group as a whole had tried to talk it over, but it never seemed to be the right time for him to speak.

"It is your body Jimin. But, and I'm not condoning what has been said because it's' not okay, they're scared Jimin. I'm scared, hell, you're probably scared. Everyone is feeling so many negative emotions right now all at once and we haven't really been able to talk it out. We all love you Jimin, like blood. The idea of you not being around, not in the bed next to mine every morning makes me want to hurl in all honesty." Jimin was quiet.

"I am."

"What?"

"I'm fucking terrified Hoseok. I'm going to die, I know the exact date of my death. I'm choosing it for goodness sake. I hoped that they, that all of you would understand that if I'm literally choosing death then there must be a good reason."

"And I'm sure in the back of their minds that they do. But there judgement is clouded right now. It's only been a few days, and it doesn't help that we didn't find out from you. Think about it from our point of view, we find out that our brother has a deadly but curable disease and he's choosing death over treatment. It isn't them against you Jimin, there isn't any right or wrong way to react to finding out someone you love is dying. But I also think that they should really take a minute and think about what you're going through, I for one can't even imagine the stress you're feeling right now."

"I just wanted it to be perfect and now everything's all messed up." Jimin sounded so frustrated. He threw his head back and hit the wall lightly.

"What do you mean, perfect?"

"I want you guys to remember me well. I don't want you to forget about me when I'm gone." His voice broke "I'm sorry, I know it's stupid. I wanted to make these last few months perfect for you all, so you guys would have good memories after I leave. But I keep fucking everything up."

"That is the farthest thing from stupid I've ever heard."

"It's ruined now anyways. I'll never be able to fix it with them fully."

"Yes you will."

"How can you be so sure hyung?"

"Because they love you, so much." And he meant it. There was absolutely no doubt in Hoseok's heart that once everything had time to sink that Jimin wasn't going to be coming back that everyone would come together to at least spend as much time as they could with the younger in his last few months.

It stays quiet for a long time after that. Hoseok until Hoseok is almost sure Jimin is asleep, the younger having kept still for almost forty five minutes. He got up, careful to pick Jimin up and move him to the couch on the opposite side of the room. Once he was sure Jimin wasn't gonna fall off, he got to work picking up all the petals littering the floor.

He examined one of the gorgeous petals. The color was absolutely beautiful, the tip of the petal was a stunning lilac and it transitioned into an almost periwinkle at the end. He was surprised that the petals were so large and healthy, but Jimin had said it'd only started a little more than a week ago. They shouldn't be so big yet.

Hoseok actually knew a fair bit about Hanahaki. When he was in high school a friend of his contracted it and sadly passed away. But Hoseok vividly remembered how happy his friend was, even on the day she passed away. She didn't want to lose her love. He regretted some of his actions especially in the way he had pushed her away. It was almost as if he was getting another chance to be there for someone he loved.

Jimin mumbled in his sleep and smiled. Hoseok almost cooed, Jimin was adorable. He was glad that the younger was still able to sleep with all the stress he was under. He let out a strangled huff as he sat down in an office chair next to the couch and a leg broke off, sending him crashing to the ground. Jimin sat up quickly, seeming to process that he was awake and what'd happened quite quickly.

"Oh my god, Hyung? Are you okay?!" He jumped up helping Hoseok off of the ground. Hoseok stood up and burst into laughter. Jimin joined soon after. The two just sat laughing for several minutes, by the end Hoseok's sides hurt.

"That fall scared me half to death."

"Your scream scared me. I almost fell off the couch." Jimin was still clutching his chest as he had when he'd woken up.

"Have you eaten yet?" Jimin shook his head "Let's go out. Grab a bite to eat together. It'll give us a chance to talk."

"All of a sudden?" Jimin tilted his head slightly "Sure, I guess."