Trial and Error

Rosie

I sighed as I opened my fridge and took out the milk. I had a long day today. 

I had work from about ten in the morning all the way until 4 in the afternoon and then I picked up an extra shift for one of the workers tonight so I was there until 11. I don't even know if that was legal but the diner was incredibly busy today for some reason and I couldn't leave them so I decided to stay. I'm getting paid extra anyways. 

It was currently 12:30 right now and since it was Saturday and I had both no work and no school tomorrow, I thought it'd be nice to relax and watch some good old Television.

So that's exactly what I'm doing.

I had Sherlock running in the background as Koda (my cat) was sitting on the couch. I glanced over at her and smiled when I saw her fixated on Benedict Cumberbatch doing another one of his deductions. She loved that show, for some reason. It was quite cute. 

I was pouring Frosted Flakes into a small bowl and unscrewing the cap on my milk when two raps sounded at my door. 

I furrowed my eyebrows.

I wasn't supposed to be expecting anyone tonight. 

I made my way to the door and looked through the peephole. Surprisingly, I found Harry there. I bit my lip and stepped back from the door. We're supposed to be staying away from each other, so why the hell is he back?

I shook my head and opened the door. 

"Hey," I smiled, watching him smile back.

"Hey," he said.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. He shifted from one foot to another as he looked behind me into my apartment. He had an expectant look on his face, but was also showing a bit of apprehension. I couldn't read him completely. He did look a bit nervous too, if I'm honest.

"Can, erm...can I come in?"

I rose my eyebrows and nodded, stepping aside to allow him to come into my apartment. He slid off his shoes as I closed the door and spoke right as I turned to him and opened my mouth.

"So what's up?" 

"I can't do this."

We spoke at the same time and I stood there looking at him, wondering what his words meant. 

I frowned slightly, moving past him to walk into my kitchen. He followed. 

"What do you mean, you can't do this?" I asked. I turned to see him run a hand through his hair as he looked down at his feet. He stepped into my kitchen and I watched him lean against the counter as I stood beside my cereal bowl. 

"I mean I can't keep my end of the bargain," he said, "I know we agreed to stay away from each other but I can't do that. I don't want to. I want to get to know this new you. I want to stay close to you."

"But you were so adamant-"

"I know," he sighed, "but then Jack - my trainer - gave me a little pep talk about how things were with his ex-fiancée and...I don't know. I just didn't want what happened to him happen to us."

I rose an eyebrow.

"What happened to them?" I asked. He bit his lip and shrugged.

"He couldn't quit his job," he said, "the same job that I do, and ended up losing his fiancée."

I bit my lip and nodded, "but if we stay close, doesn't that mean I'm in danger?"

He shook his head, "if we manage to make this happen again, somehow, I'd back out of this. I'd leave all of this behind and come back to try to build the future I was supposed to have."

We looked at each other and he sighed, "I'm not supposed to be here, Rosie. I'm supposed to be in Harvard. Probably in my third year. I'm supposed to be living with you in that little house we bought and Koda is supposed to be the cat that we adopted together and none of that is happening because I ran away."

"You were trying to heal-"

"I could have healed with you," he said, stepping closer to me. I didn't move, but instead let him come towards me. He stopped when he stood right in front of me, me looking up at him and him looking down at me. 

"I could have gone to therapy, or something," he whispered, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear, "we could have made it work. But I chose the easy way out because I was a coward. I still am."

I bit my lip and shrugged, looking down before I looked back up at him to find him watching me intently. His jaw was set, eyebrows furrowed as if in thought. He looked like he was debating something. He looked away, thinking before he bit his lip and nodded. He slowly brought his hand up to my cheek and smiled.

"I don't want to be that coward anymore. I'm not saying we have to get back together - we just met after two years, that's obviously not realistic - I just want to be near you so I can be reminded of what the old me was like. I want to try to get him back," he explained. 

I opened my mouth to speak but he interrupted me, "I'm only going to do this if you let me. I know you want to be safe. So you say the word. Yes or no, and I'll leave if you want me to. You'll never have to hear from me again."

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked down. 

I didn't want that. I didn't know if we had the potential of getting back together, what with his new lifestyle and all, but I also knew that losing him for the second time would just be annoying. I'd want him in my life, at least as a friend, so I could also know what he'd be up to. I wouldn't have to spend my time worrying if he was okay.

I wanted him in my life.

"I want you to stay," I mumbled, looking up at him. His green eyes lit up slightly and a small smile played at his lips as he let go of my cheek to grasp my hand. His hands were rough, calloused due to the training he did, no doubt. He squeezed my hands in his softly and nodded.

"Then I'll stay," he said, "we'll figure this out. I'm not sure how, but we'll make it work."

I nodded and smiled. 

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug and I sighed slightly, slowly wrapping my arms around his waist. We stayed like that for a long minute or two before he stepped back.

"Were you eating dinner?" he asked.

I nodded, "was about to dig into some wonderful Frosted Flakes."

He laughed and nodded. 

"Want some?"

He smirked, "of course. Only a fool would deny themselves of Frosted Flakes."

We laughed as we both got our dinners ready and walked over to my small couch. He sat down and Koda immediately jumped on the couch beside him and snuggled up into his side. He smiled down at the cat and brushed her fur back and forth between his fingers. 

"She's adorable," he smiled. I remembered that Harry always liked cats. 

"She's not normally friendly with strangers," I whispered, "but I guess she knows you've never been a stranger."

He smiled at me and I smiled back at him. And then we ate our dinner, and watched the TV.

And it wasn't weird at all. In fact...

It was very nice. 

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I should be studying for a quiz. I'm over school. 

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Love,

S.