Im His Secret

Chapter 7

I am at the rooftop watching the busy people at the school's plaza. I am trying to stop my tears and think of other things that will wipe the heaviness im feeling right now.

"Secret" I hear someone calling me and his voice is familiar. I immediately wipe my face with my hankerchief and then slowly turn to him.

"Yes? Do you need anything?" I asked him with a smile to hide how weak I am.

"Can we talk?" Tanong niya tapos naglakad patungo sa tabi ko.

"Sure, nag-uusap na nga tayo eh." I turned my back and face the plaza again. Tapos napansin kong siya din ay nakatingin lang sa plaza.

Binalot ng katahimikan ang paligid. Walang umimik kahit isa samin. Pareho siguro kaming nag-iipon siya ng lakas para may masabi. 

Makalipas ang ilang minuto .Tumikhim siya at tsaka huminga ng malalim. Tanda yun na may sasabihin siya. Ako naman naghihintay lang sa mga tanong at ibabato niyang salita.

"How are you?" He said.

"Fine, eto humihin......" sasagot na sana ako nang bigla siyang magsalita

"Alam mo namiss kita." Biglang sabi niya. Ako naman ay nanigas di ko alam ang sasabihin o kung ano ba dapat gagawin ko.

"You suddenly shut me out. Umalis ka bigla ng walang pasabi Secret. Alam mo bang tawag ako ng tawag sayo?  Ilang beses din ako bumalik sa bahay niyo kaso pinapaalis lang ako ni tita kasi wala ka daw sa inyo. Nasa probinsya ka daw." kalmado niyang sabi habang nakatingin parin sa plaza.

"Nung time na pinapasok ako ni tita sa inyo kasi nakauwi ka na daw. Ang saya ko nun. May chance na kong makausap ka. Kaso sumigaw ka na wla ka sa room mo kaya bumaba si tita at sinabing ayaw mo kong makausap." dagdag niya. Wala parin akong masabi. Di na rin ako gumagalaw. Mas bumigat yung nararamdaman ko kesa kanina.

"Pabalik balik ako sa inyo ng ilang linggo. Tapos hanggang isang araw pinidot ko yung doorbell kaso walang nagrespond. Naghintay ako baka umalis lang kayo saglit. Aabutin sana ako dun nang ilang oras buti na lang may lumapit at sinabing lumipat na daw kayo ng bahay." nakikinig lang ako sa kanya, wala akong sinasabi, di rin ako umimik. Natatakot ako na kapag nagsalita na ako ay biglang bumuhos ang mga luha ko.

"Pero alam mo ba kung ano ang pinakamasakit Secret? Di ko man lang alam kung bakit tayo nagkaganun. You did not gave me chances to fix our problem. Hinayaan mong magkaganun tayo. Akala ko malalampasan natin ang lahat as long as magkasama natin itong haharapin. I thought mahal mo ko pero iniwan mo ko Secret. So yun lang salamat sa oras mo" sabi niya.

Aalis na sana siya. I took a deep breath kaya napahinto siya at lumingon sakin. Ako? nasa plaza pa rin ang mata ko at nanonood.

"Ray. Have you thought of what might be the reason why I suddenly shut you out? Have you thought a thing or two of what might make me hate you that much to ignore you completely?" I asked him but never directed my gaze to him. Konti na lang, my eyes will release my tears.

" No, at that time I only thought about how can I save us both. How can I save our relationship" he answered. He still looks at me curious about what he might did.

"I'm just part of a deal." I said abruptly. I turn my gaze to him. He looked shocked. I was going to release my tears but then someone grab my wrist at kinaladkad ako. Iniwan ko siya dun. Siguro di niya alam kung pano ko nalaman.

I let this man grab me to somewhere. Until we reached an abandoned building. Teka parang familiar ang ganitong hawak at di nga ako nagkamali si Ele nga ang nakahawak sa kamay ko ngayon. Umupo si Ele sa isang bench at sumenyas na umupo rin ako kay umupo rin ako.

"Let it out. No one comes to this area." he said while standing and walking away.

Nawala ang pigura ni Ele sa paningin ko ay huminga ako ng malalim para pigilan ang luha ko. May nahawakan akong malambot na bagay na nasa tabi ng kamay ko. Nang kunin ko hawak ko ang isang panyo. Napansin ko din na parang may dumadaloy sa pisngi ko. I touch my cheeks and it is tears. Imbis na pigilan ko pa ay ibinuhos ko lahat ng luha na kanina ko pa pinipigilan. 

After a certain while of bursting my emotions on a handkerchief, I found myself back in the room. I was with my slouchy seatmate. I was about to return his handkerchief but nakakahiya naman, puno kaya ito mga natuyong luha at uhog, kadiri. I'm gonna wash it first sa bahay. 

Dismissal na, and I was about to go out the campus when his familiar figure appeared again. Ray is outside the gate. He saw me and immediately waved with his very sweet face. He was really my angel, but he was becoming my pain. He tried to approach me, and I was starting to feel that pain as well as my longing for him. I was too confused, sad, and feel terrible of myself. Gusto ng utak ko na bitawan siya pero yung puso pilit paring kumakapit sa kanya. 

I did not notice that my feet is slowly leading me to Ray. Malapit na ako sa kinaroroonan niya when another manly figure of the man I hate the most in this school was blocking my sight. I was at his back, I hate him, but he is my hero today. Hindi pa talaga ako ready to appear in front of Ray. I was hiding at ELE's back until I got out the campus and finally left my current predicament.