Mental heath poems/personal short story's

A Smile

A smile can hide a lot, it can convince people your ok even when you want to die. I've learned that you can even trick your self with you smile, if you look happy it kind convinces your brain that you are happy. I found this out when I had a anxiety attack and I smiled in the mirror but it didn't look, I didn't look happy and that caused but breathing to become worse. But when I was able to smile and look happy it calmed down quickly. I've gotten so good at hiding behind a smile that sometime my parents don't even realized I cried and describe me as a super happy girl and so do my friends but they never think that I'm extremely depressed and when I talked to my friends about it they don't care. One friend in particular let's name her Lia, she they type of person who always tries to one up you like you say you had a fight with you parents and just wanted to talk about it but then they say something like "Well my parents..." or "Well I've..." and it's annoying. But in this situation you'd think "Ok I'm talking about being depressed and self harm they can't try to one up my in this right" well no Lia said something like: yeah I cut yesterday on my thigh, I've done it multiple times yeah my dad has to check to make sure i didn't , I have to wear short because my dad doesn't trust, I don't have a razor for that reason, your so lucky to have a razor that cuts. And you can't say anything about it you just have to be like "I'm sorry". But that whole part of the rant is basically saying I won't have my friend to trust help me. So all that's left it to smile and hide the pain because if other don't see it your "safe".