The look in your eyes

04

Song: defenceless by Louis Tomlinson
(A message from Louis to Zayn and Liam)

Harry's pov
I knew I shouldn't have agreed to this stupid party. I knew it. We had been there for an hour and Niall was off with Arabella. I talked her for two minutes and she was the definition of a dumb blonde. What did Niall see.

I had some gross concoction shoved into my hand as soon as I entered the room. I held it to be polite but I had no intention of drinking it. Everything was a blur until a beautiful brunette boy plopped down next to me. I didn't exactly expect it so I kind of spilt some of the drink on him. "Oops." I mumbled as I quickly handed him a napkin but he just waved it off.

Louis Tomlinson. The hottest guy in my school. Two years older than me. Yeah, that Louis. Why was he talking to me?

I could always tell there was something behind his eyes. Secrets that's threatened to jump out of his throat at any minute.

But maybe I just see that because I've been studying his face for years hoping that he will notice me and fall madly in love. Only issue is, he is straight.or so I thought.

I got lost inside his eyes for a moment as I let my brain spiral thinking over how this was actually real! A weak "hi" is all I could muster up. The rest of the conversation was a blur but all I know is I got a phone number.

Louis pov
I woke up and felt like shit. My eyes were burning and my clothes felt sticky with sweat. I remember falling asleep whilst Liam was rocking me saying comforting things but now he was gone and light shone through the window. I knew I had been sleeping on my problems. The only issue was. I woke up and they were still under the sheets.

I tiptoed down to the kitchen not really knowing the time. I felt a wave of relief when I saw Liam sitting at the kitchen bench. "Hey bub." He greatest quietly holding open his arms for a hug.

Gladly I accepted. He absolutely smothered me into the hug. He was holding me as close to his body as possible. That's when I caught my face in the fridge behind him. You could see all my bruises. Shit. I tried to pull away to go find some sought of makeup to cover them up but Liam stopped me. "It's okay lou. Zee and I wiped off the foundation last night.
It's okay we've seen it." Liam pulled me back into a hug. "It's okay baby." He soothed.

"I though you would be yelling and wanting to find the police." I laughed snuggling into the hug. I loved Liam's hugs. They were possibly they best hugs out there.

Liam sent me a sad look. "Don't you remember bub? We talked about all of it last night in the car. After the party." Liam recalled. I shook my head no to indicated I had no clue what he was talking about. "It's alright. We can talk when Zayn comes down. Just remember I love you okay?" Liam said gently squeezing me one final time.

"Love you too li." I managed to chock out.

An hour later Zayn made his appearance. He came down with the same sad look Liam had. "Hey lou. Morning love." He greeted respectively pressing a kiss to Liam's lips and settling on standing between Liam's legs with his back against Liam's chest.

"So..." I said anxiously. "I guess I told you everything?" I asked not really knowing what I could have said.

"You told us how you are never good enough for your parents. How if they want you to get skinner you get skinnier, if they want you to get better grades you get better grades and if you don't do as your told you get punished. You told us the reason you wear oversized clothes is because you cut. You told us the reason you said you were just confused was because your neighbour saw you kissing that guy and told your parents and then they beat you until you believed you were straight. You told us you don't eat because you want to be better for your parents and that also explains all the anxiety over getting things right. And the beating and punishment part explains all the other panic attacks. Then you said you can't leave because your sisters need you." Zayn recited off a note in his phone as Liam smothered his face into the others neck.

I was shocked that I had told them all of that. I had so much to lose and I was completely defenceless at this point. I had never been so defenceless. "I-I sa-said all of that? I shit I wasn't mea-nt t-to tel-ell any-nyone fuck." I stuttered beginning to lose it all. The controls slipping out of my hands. The world began to go fuzzy. Eventually all I saw was blobs and all I heard was mumbles.

Liam's pov

I think that's the quickest I've seen Zayn move. Of course there had been times where we were alone with Louis while he had a panic attack. However we had learnt that I was best by far at dealing with them.

"Hey, look at me lou. It's me. Your in my kitchen. Zayns here. We are safe." I said in a calming tone even though on the inside I was freaking out. These never got easier.

"Can I have your hand bub?" I asked and the boy blindly gave me his hand. The nickname bub had worked on Louis since he was fourteen. It accidentally slipped within the panic of his first panic attack but he responded to it. That's why I've been using it so much ever since. "Good. Thank you. See I'm here okay." I hummed squeezing his hand extremely gentle.

"I won't let anyone hurt you. You are alright bub. Can you breath with me?" I asked putting his hand to my chest. He nodded. It wasn't a clear nod but it was a nod. "Thank you bub." I said as I took slow breaths. The brunette began to move the fabric of my shirt under his fingertips. He always did that with this grounding exercise. It comforted him in a way.

I looked over to see a distressed Zayn standing in the corner of the kitchen. "Come over here zee." I said sadly knowing he just felt bad for Louis. The raven haired boy moved over to the side that wasn't holding Louis' hand and let his head fall onto my shoulder as I rubbed up and down his back.

I started to notice the manic pants were now soft whimpers "You are doing so well bub. Keep breathing with me." I nodded for Zayn to get the tissue box I had left on the table earlier knowing this would happen. Within the next five seconds there was a tissue box in my hand. "Are you coming back to me?" I asked gently as I rubbed over the back of his hand that was now perfectly still on my chest.

Louis nodded trying to let out a small yes but failing. "Hey, it's okay if you need more time. Don't force it." I soothed grabbing the glass of water Zayn knew to get and holding it out for the boy to grab when he was ready.

After another few minutes I deemed it safe for lou to take his hand away and reach for the glass of water. His hands were still shaking like a earthquake so I held slightly underneath the glass in case it slipped.

After he told me he was comfortable enough for touching him I pulled him into a tight hug. "We wouldn't tell anyone unless you felt ready lou, we will keep you safe." I whispered softly into the boys ear. "I'm sorry all of that's been happening to you and I knew it to but I just didn't want to believe it. I should have helped sooner. I'm sorry bub." I continued with complete and utter honesty.

"It's okay li. It was my fault too. I'm just glad you are here now." Louis responded in the same tone. I knew he was being honest.

***
The zigi child is prettier than me and it doesn't even have legs