The look in your eyes

17

Song: B.O.M.D by clairo
(A message from Harry to Louis)

Harry's pov
I had been searching for Louis for about ten minutes now. I always met him by his locker but when he wasn't there. I began to wander. I eventually ended up texting the blue eyed boy. He was quick to respond asking if I knew how to get to the roof. I shook my head fondly and began making the trek.

Once I was there I briefly looked around the roof. Louis was nowhere in sight. I groaned loudly and turned on my heal when I heard a light "Haz, I'm over here." It came from behind them stairs. He looked so small.

I practically skipped over and sat down beside him. I saw that poison like smoke curl around his face. "Is this you spot?" I asked quietly as I looked over the campus. I had never seen it from this angle. It was if my peers where ants. Maybe it was the world hinting that lou and I would end up higher than all the forces that stoped us but I doubt it, it was just a spot, it meant nothing.

I would have missed the small nod from the other if I had blinked. "It's also the only place Liam hasn't found." He said humorously before taking another drag out of the cigarette. "I love that boy but I see him every second of the day. Sometimes I need a break to think." He shrugged.

I let his words run through my head as if my brain was a race track. "So why did you tell me about your spot?" I asked quizzically. I was genuinely confused, if he needed a break to think why would he want me there.

Louis' eyes didn't meet mine he simply blew out a cloud of smoke. "Sometimes when I'm thinking I don't like to be alone. Makes me feel unsafe. I use to just hang out with Zayn when I wanted to think because he's quite but we aren't exactly on speaking terms." He admitted. I could tell there was complete honesty in his words. Why did he feel unsafe with himself?

I just nodded. There wasn't much I could say. "Where does your sister live?" I asked. The thought had consumed me for weeks. "It's just, you said you live with Liam because you can't live at home. So where does your sister live?" I added. I knew it was a risky topic but if his sister was in danger I would have her live with me.

"My sisters live with my parents. I plan on taking them in once I can support myself." He said coldly before finishing the cigarette.

I knew it must have been a painful conversation so I dropped it. "How many sister do you have?" I asked happily hoping my tone would lift the boys spirit. I didn't like him being upset.

His eyes seemed to light up at the thought of his siblings. "Four." He chuckled. "Daisy and phoebe, they are the youngest, both of them are five. Then there is Felicite but we call her Fizzy, she's 14. Then Lottie, who of course you know." He explained cheerfully. I knew it would make him feel a bit better.

I let out a small aw  before continuing "so a full house." I laughed which made Louis nod and smile brightly. "I don't think I could cope with all that. Gemma is already a handful." I joked.

Louis cracked a small smile but then his face went into serious look. "I think I hit jackpot when it comes to sisters. They are wonderful girls. None of them ever deserve to be hurt by this world. They are going to grow up to be fabulous women." He said truthfully. I was glad the blue eyed boy loved his family so much. He put up a tough exterior but he was a softie on the inside.

"So what did you come up here to think about?" I asked. I didn't want to ruin Louis' good mood but I wanted to make sure he wasn't hurting over something.

He shrugged leaning back on his palms. "This weekend. Us. Liam and Zayn." He said simply.

"Us?what about us?" It sounded like I was panicking but I wasn't. I was genuinely curious. I turned my whole body towards the smaller boy to show him I was giving him all my attention.

He seemed to notice the small gesture. "I'm scared. I like you Harry, I really do. I want to be with you so bad but I can't be with you right now. I need to work on some things first but that makes me feel like I'm just pulling you along." The other explained sheepishly.

I laughed lightly and shook my head. "Gemma was right boys are stupid." I laughed but Louis didn't seem amused. "What I mean is, I care more about your wellbeing then our relationship. I would wait a million years if I had to."

We both went silent and just let our selves enjoy the breeze around us. It was pleasant. Birds were chirping as the flew around the tree tops. There was a faint sound of happy chatter from the kids below. It was peaceful, I understood why Louis liked it up here.

He looked like a god. His skin seemed to glow in the sun and his deep blue eyes shone a tad brighter. He suddenly turned to me which broke my trance. "You mean it?" He questioned.

It was a simple question. Why would I say it if I didn't mean it? I nodded slowly showing him a smile.

His face seemed to light up like the sun. Next thing I knew my back was flat against the concert roof. He had tackled me in a hug. His soft hair was tucked under my chin. "Thank you so much Harry. You have no clue how much this means to me." He hummed.

I felt my heart swell. Who wouldn't wait for him? Why would anyone want to hurt the angel that is Louis Tomlinson?