Sorrowful Souls

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 3

"Ang bata pa niya para mamatay ano?"

"Sayang si Avery, magaling pa namang umarte yang batang yan."

"I know, she's promising. Sayang lang talaga."

"So what will happen to her movie?"

"Narinig ko is ise-screen padin, bali dedication nalang for her. Pumayag naman ang family ni Avery."

"She's only 23 right?"

"Yah, very young."

I-ilan lang yan sa mga naririnig ko ngayong araw. I stared blankly at the coffin. I always hear their concerns and condolences but it seems like I can't understand anything.

"Torah, have you eaten anything?" Nilingon ko ang nagsalita only to see my friend Emerald. Umiling ako, hindi naman ako gutom at ayokong umalis dito.

"Please, Torah. Nag-aalala na kami sa 'yo. It's already been 3 days since you last ate. Please kahit sandwich lang hmm?" Hagod niya likod ko. I leaned at her hand, it feels warm.

Tiningala ko siya at binigyan ng munting ngiti. "Sorry E, hindi kasi ako nagugutom eh." Bumuntong hininga lang siya at umupo sa tabi ko.

"Your father has been worried about you, Torah. H'wag mo namang pag-alalahanin si Tito. He's been restless these days. Matanda na siya okay?"

Tila wala akong naintindahan sa sinabi niya at nakatanga lang sa kawalan. My father and I haven't had any proper conversation since the day we found out that Avery died.

Buti dumating si Emily at siya ang nag asikaso sa lahat. Seraphine is not here but she assure that she will be there sa burol ng kapatid ko. Both Sera and Emily did all the process at pinagpahinga lang kami ni dad.

Dumating na din ang kaisa-isang kapatid ng daddy galing London at siya nadin ang nag entertain sa mga pumupunta sa lamay ni Avery.

A lot of people had been visiting my sister's wake. Some of it are people who I haven't met and some are my sister's colleague.

Emily showed me an article talking about my sister's work and messages of some fans who also are been mourning with the sudden death of Avery.

Syempre, not all are praising my sister. There are lewd articles about her but Sera and Emily took care of it.

My sister has been trending in all social media outlet nationwide. Ironic is that ngayon na wala na siya ngayon lang siya napapansin ng mga tao.

I felt a soft touch in my cheek. I saw my dad wiping something on my cheek, then it dawn to me that I must be crying.

Hinawakan ko nang mahigpit ang kamay niya. Wala na pala si Emily sa tabi ko pero siya ang pumalit dito.

"Am I neglecting my eldest these past few days?"

Umiling ako. "No po daddy, I don't care really. Dapat nga ako po ang nangungumusta sa inyo."

My father sigh and directed his eyes at the white coffin. "I still can't believe what happened to you sister."

"I know, I am too."

"May pagkukulang ba ako sa inyo mga anak? Siguro sa sobrang busy ko sa hospital hindi ko na kayo napapansin ni Avery."

I held his hand tighter while my eyes are starting to water.

"Dad, Avery and I thinks that you're the best father ever. Don't even think na may pagkukulang sa amin. Pagmamahal mo palang dad, sobrang punong-puno na kami."

Pinahid ko ang mga luhang bumabagsak sa mata ko.

"I didn't even know if something was going on with Avery. She always tells me she's fine and happy. I-I.. ang tanga ko naman dahil wala man lang ako napansin."

"Shhh.." Pag-aalo sa akin ni dad. Today is the last day of her wake and bukas ay ihahatid na namin si Avery.

My heart constrict from the feeling of sending my sister away. I never thought that this would happened.

I always plead to God that maybe this is a bad dream and that I should wake up kasi hindi na siya nakakatuwa.

I STARE at my emotionless face in the mirror. I wore a black dress with a snow-like clip on my hair. Today is the day where dad and I will finally say our last good byes to Avery. Hanggang ngayon ay wala padin akong tulog dahil everytime na pumipikit ang mga mata ko ay nakikita ko lang ang sarili ko sa kwarto ni Avery.

Napa-igtad ako sa mga katok na naririnig ko.

"Torah!"

Lumabas ako sa banyo at binuksan ang pintuan. I saw Emerald and Seraphine looking sadly at me. Sera sighed, held my hand and hug me.

Wala man siyang sinabi but the warmth that her hug offers me is enough already.

Narinig ko ang singhot ni Emerald. "Let's go?"

This is it.

Dumiretso kami sa chapel na malapit lang sa amin. Hindi kasi kami tinanggap ng ibang simabahan na duon gaganapin ang huling lamay ni Aves dahil sa uri ng pagkamatay nito.

We also held a eulogy para sa mga taong gustong mag paalam sa kanya.

I've been balling my eyes out since I arrived from the chapel. Nata-touch ako sa mga magagandang sinasabi nila sa kapatid ko.

She may had lived shorter in this world but she left a legacy in our hearts that we will not forget.

After my dad said his final good bye. I weakly stand up and walk slowly towards the podium.

Memories of her and I had been flashing in my mind as I walk. Noong mga bata palang kami hanggang sa iniwan kami ni mama. Nuong grumaduate siya ng elmentary, noong umiyak siya dahil hindi siya napili sa school play nila noong high school. Noong college siya at sinabi niya sa akin na may nanliligaw sa kanya. Noong nangarap siyang mag audition sa isang teleserye pero hindi siya nakuha.

I inhaled deeply and look all at people who's been staring at me. I can see different emotions up here. Sadness mostly.

"Avery, my sister, is a very good daughter to my father and sister to me. Makikinig siya sa lahat ng rant mo kahit pa umabot kayo nang gabi. She will help me think if I got stuck up in writing my novel. She will give me ideas and scenes. Siya lagi ang pinapabasa ko sa final daft ko bago ko siya ipasa sa publisher and.." I stop and look up. Pawang pinipigilan ang mga luhang gustong kumawala.

"She will always praise my writings and always lift my mood. She's our little ball of sunshine. We grew up without having a mother figure beside us pero hindi man lang siya nagreklamo tuwing family day. Sapat na daw si daddy para saming magkapatid."

"Avery, if you ever hear this, know that I love you so much my little sister and thank you for all the years that you've spent with us. I will treasure all those 23 years of happiness. Hindi mo alam kong anong saya ang naibigay mo sa ate. Ngayon na kinuha kana ni God sa 'min. Sana wala kanang iisiping hindi maganda at maging masaya ka nalang. I hope in our next lifetime, you will still choose me as your big sister kasi ako lagi kitang pipiliin. Good bye Avery."