Finding myself in you

2.

"Beckett's best friend, Leighton Adams is here to say a few words about the sweet young man." The preacher announced. I pushed down any feelings other than grief that I had. I have to do this for Beckett. I walked up on the stage, stood beside the brown closed casket with blue flowers on it. I looked down to my light blue dress and set my notebook down on the podium as I searched through the pages for the eulogy I had written for him. People began glancing to others and talking.

"Hello, I am Leighton Mae. I was Beckett's best friend. I am here to say a few words about the sweetest, most amazingly wonderful guy I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. But first, I'm going to start with our story. We grew up together. His mom babysat me because my parents didn't care who I was with as long as they could work, that has always been their priority as long as I was there to help with their picture perfect family. Nobody wanted to be friends with Beckett because, well, he was "weird." But that wasn't the case with me. I was immediately drawn to Beckett. When he and I became friends, it wasn't an immediate thing. It took time and patience and quite a bit of violence, mainly from me. I was at this boys house every day. His family welcomed me. Maryanne, SaraBeth, Kyle, and Beckett were my family. They gladly allowed me to become part of it." I started. Tears began to fall.

"We fought. We laughed. We cried. And of course, me being as graceful as I am. I broke a few bones. Beckett was there to pick me up every time. If it was simply me falling down, my parents fighting again, a breakup, or just me being sad. He was always there to make sure I didn't stay down long. We were closer than anyone I have ever met. And then, something happened with his family and I no longer knew how to talk to my best friend. So we stopped talking. I wanted to get him back. I wish that I had grown up and actually gotten him back. We weren't friends when he died. But not a day goes by where my heart didn't ache for the piece that fills the empty hole in my chest. My Beckett. Beckett Gray West was my absolute best friend. I loved him when we were friends, I loved him when we weren't, I love him now, and I'll love him even as he's not here. And that? That is the story of a girl falling in love with her best friend and her being to stupid to tell him To get him back. And God. I want him back. He wasn't the sweetest or kindest person, but to me he was everything." I cried. My heart aching. My head pounding. I walked down off of the stage and took my seat back by Maryanne, I set my notebook on my lap.

"That was beautiful, sweetheart." Maryanne cried, her lip quivering.

"I want him back, Maryanne." I sobbed as she pulled me into a hug.

"I do too."

After that we went to the cemetery and Beckett was laid 6 foot under the ground and covered in dirt. After that, Maryanne and Sarabeth went back to their house. I went to the West bakery and sat in the back corner booth. I laid my head on the table and sobbed. Good Lord, did this hurt.

I heard shuffling across from me and lifted my head. That creepy man from earlier was seated across from me.

"Would you like to take me up on my offer now, Leighton?"

"I just want Beckett back." I cried out. The next thing I knew, everything was black.

"Ma'am, you've been sleeping here for like an hour. You need to get up." A familiar voice spoke. I looked up at the voice, it was Beckett. His shaggy hair falling over his forehead, a small apron tied around his waist. I launched up and pulled him into a hug. His tall figure reluctantly wrapped his arms around me.

"Leighton, are you okay?" He questioned, his voice monotone.

"I miss you, Becks." I cried into his shirt.

"Dude. Calm down. You saw me at school earlier today?" He spoke as he let me go and pushed me away, his hands on my shoulders as he looked me up and down.

"I had a bad day, Beckett." I shook my head as I looked to my feet.

"Why are you wearing your funeral dress, Leighton?"

"Maybe another time Beckett. Um are you free to hang out?" I spoke awkwardly.

"We haven't spoke in almost a year. Why do you want to now?" He asked me, eyebrow raised. I sat back down onto the bench in the booth. He sat across from me, his arms crossed firmly on his chest.

"I had a bad experience and it made me realize something was missing in my life."

"And what was the thing missing?" He asked as he ran his hand through his hair.

"You." I spoke awkwardly. He began laughing. Laughing! What the hell?

"Beckett Gray! I am not kidding! Stop laughing at me!" I exclaimed. His gorgeous face creasing and his nose scrunching.

"Why are you coming back now, Leighton?" He asked me, his face stiffening.

"I went through something, Beckett. What day is it?"

"March 6th?" He spoke, eyebrow raised.
"What's going on, Leighton?"

"Please just trust me, Beck."

"It's Beckett, Leighton. Please, just go back home." He shook his head.

"Beckett, I want to fix things."

"Why? You haven't cared in 9 months. Why now?" Beckett scoffed. I looked down as i began picking at my nails.
"You're hiding something from me." He added as he followed my hands with his eyes.

"No I'm not.." I spoke as I glanced up to him. He rolled his eyes.

"Why'd you change so much Leighton?"

"Im not sure Beckett.. I do know that I want us to be friends again."

"Why do want that so bad again? You're the one that left." Beckett looked me in the eyes, his blue eyes filled with emotion.

"I left because you told me too!" I shouted at him.

"You weren't supposed to leave, Leighton! I was mad, and hurt! You don't just leave your best friend!" He yelled back. His deep voice booming. My heart began to feel as if it were slamming into my rib cage.

"I didn't know what else to do, Beckett! I didn't know how to talk to you anymore!" I shouted. His jaw clenched, and pulsed. He's angry.

"You should leave." He spoke, his teeth clenched.

"Fine." I snapped as I stood up and stormed out of the shop. I stopped outside of the door and spun around on my heel and walked back in. Tears streaming down my face.

"I'm not leaving this time, Beckett." I whispered. He turned around from the booth and I began walking over towards him. I stood in front of him as he remained seated.

"So either you can throw me out, leave, or let me stay." I looked down to him. He ran his hands through his hair and down his face.

"I- you can stay. This doesn't automatically fix things though." He spoke, a tinge of a smile playing on his lips.

"I'll take it."