Finding myself in you

6.

--- Beckett West's point of view ---

I woke up to stirring on top of my chest and a knock on my door. I glanced down to Leighton who was still sleeping peacefully on my chest and to my clock on the table beside me, it was 5:26 in the morning.

"Yeah?" I spoke softly, my voice rough.

" How's Leighton?" My mom's voice spoke, a slight laugh ringing in it.

"Asleep." I laughed. "How'd you know she was in here?" I added. She laughed.

"I'm your mother and I raised the two of you. I also heard you talking to her last night." My mom spoke as she opened my door slightly.
"You should probably get her up soon before her mom worries." My mom added as I looked down to Leighton.

"Her mom doesn't worry about her, mom. It's crappy but you know I'm right." I shook my head as I ran my hand up her back. She deserves so much more.

"I know baby. But her dad does."

"He knows she's here. Her parents are fighting, Ma. She needs a friend." I spoke softly.

"I'm just looking out for you. She can stay as long as she wants. I need you to start working the bakery at about ten this morning. Sarabeth has a doctor's appointment. Leighton can help if she wants." My mom smiled as she walked down stairs. I glanced down to Leighton again and smiled as I pulled her closer to me and closed my eyes, going back to sleep for a few hours.

"Beckett, ma told me to come wake you guys up. We're about to leave." Sarabeth spoke as she knocked on my bedroom door and cracked it open. I glanced to her and nodded.

"Thanks kiddo. How are you feeling? I smiled at my small sister. Her cheeks hollow and her short brown hair curling tightly.

"I'm okay. How are you bubs?"
My heart breaks seeing her like that.

"I'm good. You don't need to worry about me, Sarabeth." I smiled at her. She nodded a solemn look still present in her eyes.

"I love you big brother. I'll see you later." She smiled as she closed my bedroom door.

"Leighton, I'm sorry but we have to get up." I spoke as I tapped her shoulder. She stirred around on my chest.

"I just want to stay here and sleep." She mumbled as she snuggled closer into my chest.

"I know, I do too. But we can't. My mom asked me to open the bakery this morning while she takes Sarabeth to the doctor's." I spoke as I traced my fingers along her shoulder in circles.

"Is she getting better?" Leighton asked cautiously. Pain tinged in my chest.
"Yeah, she is doing okay." I smiled slightly as I sat up.

"Good." She mumbled. "I know you're lying, Beckett." She added as she opened her eyes. I glanced down to her again.

"And what makes you think that?" I asked as she began to sit up.

"Your voice cracked. You smiled weakly, and you hesitated." She shook her head as she bumped my shoulder.

"I'm here now, Beckett. I'm not going to leave you again. I couldn't live with myself." She shook her head. I nodded as i continued to glance down to her.

"And why is that, Leighton?"

"Because.." she hesitated. "you're my best friend. I can't lose you again."

"It's not like I'm going to kill myself. I'm fine Leighton, my sister is just sick. She will get better. I pray for it everyday. It is just taking a while.." I nodded. She visibly flinched when the words left my mouth. Why?

"Okay. I know she's going to get better. I pray for her and your family every single day." Leighton smiled slightly, but you could see the pain in her eyes.

"The doctors say she's close to being in remission. She's been chemo free for about three weeks now." I spoke as I climbed out of bed and slid on a black t-shirt and jeans.

"That's great Beck." She smiled as she got up and began running her hands through her hair. She pulled out a phone and began texting, I'm assuming she's texting her dad. She pulled her hand up to her mouth and yawned as she typed before looking at me.

"I guess I should head home and let you work. I don't want to be a bother towards you anymore today." Leighton spoke as she began to fidget.

"You're not a bother, you can help me if you want. I know you know how to work this bakery." I said with a slight laugh. She smiled, her cheeks flashing a shade of pink.

"My mom is going to murder me." She laughed as she slid on her black flats. "I do still get free food, correct?" She raised her eyebrows. I rolled my eyes and laughed.
"This is serious, Beckett. No food equals no work." She placed her hands on her hips and scrunched her eyebrows.

"You're so adorable when you try to be tough." I scrunched my nose and winked at her. She stomped a foot and glared at me.
Someone's hangry.
"Yes Leigh, you'll get food." I smiled as I shook my head. She smiled big.

"Yay!" She cheesed further as we began making our way down the stairs into the living room and then going to the bakery. She flipped the sign to open as I began setting the pastries my mama had already made in the display cases. Leighton's phone began ringing, she picked it up with a frown.

"Hello?" She asked. She nodded a minute as her shoulders slumped.
"Okay mom. His sister and mom are at the doctors. Can I stay and help until they get back?" She asked.
"Okay. Bye." She hung up angrily.

"My mom is pissed, I have to go home or she said I'm not allowed to do anything or have anything for two months. Even said she'd take my keys. I'm really sorry Beckett." She frowned. I nodded my head.

"I understand, Leigh. I'll talk to you later, I love you." I smiled as I pulled her into a hug. "Don't get yourself in trouble." I winked. She smiled softly as she began walking out the door.

"I love you too." She added as the door shut behind her.

I returned to work and began wiping down tables making sure everything was clean for when customers arrive. As I was wiping the back booth, I saw Leighton's notebook. She must have forgotten it yesterday. I sat down and began flipping through pages.

"Smile Leigh, makes life better."
"You're so beautiful."
"I can't imagine life without you."
"Ohana."
"With you, I'm never lost."
Damn. How many cheesy notes did I write for her? I chuckled as I continued to flip through pages. After the pages with my handwriting, I saw pages in her writing began. They were all long and dated.

"The first week without my Becks has seemed impossible. Everything reminds me of him. I miss him more and more each day. Seeing him at school is torture, it also seems as if he's becoming sadder as each day passes. I want to help and be there, but I burned that bridge. I ruined his life. Everything is happening because of me. I'm to blame for it all, I can't take it back..."

Reading her notes got cut short as the first wave of morning customers came in. I carried the notebook with me and placed it under the counter.
Nothing is on her.