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If there was something Lyra had truly missed over Christmas break, it had to be the late-night talk in the astronomy tower with Sirius. And she was very delighted when he proposed going that same night just the two of them given the fact that she needed to vent.
"I just feel so stupid," she huffed, taking another bite of red liquorice she'd bought for their late-night snacking.
"You're not stupid, Ly." Sirius reassured, patting her shoulder reassuringly. "Yeah, you kissed him but-"
"No," She shook her head as she turned to look at him. "I don't feel stupid because of the kiss." She let out a long sigh before muttering. "I told him about Adam, Sirius. I was in a vulnerable state and I told him about my brother."
Sirius nodded slowly, a million thought rushing through his head, but his main concern was: "Did-did you tell him about...us?"
Lyra quickly shook her head, eyes slightly widening. "No way. I'd never do that. It's not my place to tell." She watched him nod as he looked down at his hands. She bit her lip as she dared to question: "Have-have you told Remus?"
"No, I-I can't."
Lyra tilted her head to the side, this time it was her turn to reassure the boy. Placing a hand on his shoulder she said: "I know it's hard to talk about, but Remus will understand-"
"-How is he going to understand that not only have I been in love with someone else before him, but that I may be the reason they killed themselves?" His eyes had watered as he stared at Lyra pained.
"You know perfectly well it's not your fault, Sirius. Adam was sick, he was depressed-"
"Yes, it is! I broke up with him because of our falling out! I stopped talking to him and maybe if I hadn't I could've helped him!" By now the tears had spilt. "I could've helped him." He repeated, this time in a whisper. "I-I could've saved him-"
"Oh, Sirius," Lyra quickly wrapped her arms around the crying boy, her own tears falling down her cheeks. "There was no saving him," she said in bearly a murmur, "He was into deep to be saved..."
"I just-I just miss him so much," He cried, body shaking beneath her touch "I love Remus with all my godamn heart, but I don't think I'll ever be able to forget Adam," he admitted through his tears.
Lyra nodded with a sigh. "I know," she rubbed his back. "You guys were each other's first love, but what you have with Remus is different, it's special."
