Another story of love, grief and retrospective Chapter 1: Love

18

If someone had told me that during my holidays I have found e love that I let go, I would not have believed and yet this is what I do, I am now lying th on the bed watching the ceiling, if my best friend was there, I would have taken the breath of the year with my attitude. I get up with the urge to throw myself out of a window, I feel like my heart is being torn from nothing, I feel like I'm the shadow of the person I really am , my phone vibrates, I lean towards my dresser to retrieve my laptop, and I am surprised to see Jake's name appear, I unlock it to see his message

From Jake to me

I do not know that that happened with Liam, but he is drunk

I'm about to throw up with what I just learned, I'm a really bad person, I write my answer by wiping away the tears that start to flow, why I'm like this, why I did this, especially to an extraordinary person like Liam. Jake sends me his answer after a few minutes

From Jake to me

Why did you do that exactly, I do understand not

I remind her, that I'm not from here and that I have to go home, at one point or another, I was selfish at the thought that I could have believed something happened on the long term, I wanted to, but it deserves better than a long-term relationship doomed to failure. I throw my phone across the bedroom, lean on the wall that I run along, shedding my tears, the song " i love you " by Billie Eilish resounds in the bedroom. We could believe in a film rosewater where everything finally sort themselves out, but the problem here is that we are in real life and I just lost the person who was important e to my eyes for a stupid distance, I hate to inflict this, on him and on me, I lie on my bed and I let sleep take me with him. In a better place where I didn't waste my chances with Liam.

*

I return to reason around in 19 hours, but after that have to call down, I did not particularly hungry, but I 'm still me feed , tonight I'm not really in the mood to chat with others and that's why I hurry to eat and go back to my room, but Miranda gets involved in their conversation

- Did you have a good vacation ?

I eat a large portion of leg and acquired head to his question.

- You can come back whenever you want, she adds with a smile.

I thank her and get rid of my plate and go towards my room, once inside I spread out on my bed thinking about what I can do now, and looking at the ceiling I get an idea I take my computer and open my word processor and writing a message, and I'll see if I decide to send it to Liam or not, after five minutes writing my phone vibrates, but I'm completely focused e in what I 'm doing that I do n't bother to answer immediately. I then decide to take a break from my writing to check my message, I am surprised to see that it comes from Jake

From Jake to Me

I know that there is you that a few days here, I asked if you wanted although it is way tomorrow ?

I must admit that going out would do me a lot of good, but I wonder how Liam will react, if he learned that I am going out with his best friend, I then decide to type my answer

From me to Jake

I agree to spend time with you tomorrow

And that as early writing, immediately sent, I rebuke knowledge of my writings that my phone vibrates again, I look at Jake message that is filled with excitement f have health winks, I smile, shaking his head, and i send him

From me to Jake

I will you leave I have work, good evening tomorrow

I rest my phone and pursue my writing I put some music to make me more creative, I find a romantic song but not too much, it will af do and I feel inspired and I continue to write for another twenty minutes before recording it, I look at my phone Jake did not answer, he must have gone to bed remark considering the hour 11:45 pm , I too will have to go to bed now in any case I am proud of this I just did and I hope Liam will like it

*

The next morning I woke e because of my awakening, I know I made ez with Jake , but I forgot it asked ed time. Since I forgot E to charge my phone before going to bed, I'm not surprised to discover that he has no battery, I then seek my charger half asleep again, I lack crush me to the ground three times, one thing e s t on is that I have found e now it loads, I can finally take my time to get dressed and get ready to leave as it is Liam's best friend I guess it will soon pass as it is 9 am 15, I note the time again I thought that he was too early, I have to say that these are the first holiday I spend away from home and I found a way to wake up super early, usually at home I get up around 11 pm or twelve o'clock sometimes, someone knock on the door I finished putting my pants and head for the door and I meet my stepmother all smiles

- Someone is waiting for you downstairs

I look behind me if I have not forgotten anything except my phone which is still in charge, I have everything , but I do not think that we leave immediately or if it is the case, I will take my phone even if the battery is low you never know, it will be a shame for me and I joined Miranda is already descended e in the lounge.

- Hi, said Jake when he sees me

I him give his wave with her smile, I still want to go out with Jake, so I broke up e with Liam, there's not even 24 hours.

- You're ready, we're going to join the rest of the tribe , to celebrate your last week

I see like a revealing smile, he is hiding something from me and I don't really know what awaits me, but something tells me that I'm not ready, I give my parents a last signal and we leave, I don't don't know where, but we're going.

- You don't want to tell me where we're going ?

I even ask if I know it's secret defense , Jake turns his head towards me once installed in the driver's seat.

- This is a surprise, it does not bother you if I put music ?

I said do not of the head and a music that I know not happening is a bit like rap, but when I see the name of the artist Drake, I know this is rap, I ignored that he had made this music, at the first red light Jake makes me pass his phone so that I choose the next song, I really want to listen to " Walk Me Home " by p! nk , I start the song by remembering my laugh, but I'm surprised that Jake knows it since he sings the chorus looking at me

- Yes, I know this song, he said, yelling the song

I laughed with him, p ace because he sings false, but because it says nothing that resembles the song by t the chorus that happens not to destroy too. We arrive after a few minutes in front of a bar-restaurant.

I had never seen before we enter the building and are greeted by a song Ariana Grande, I think she s' called " 7 rings " and we head towards the group, finally I 'm Jake because I do not know their tribe advancing towards our table I hear him sing the song on the radio, I noticed everyone but one person back to me and I do not see that it can be , but it is by holding my breath that I notice that it is Liam, my God what is he doing there, after all he is with his friends, me what do I doing there, when he sees me, he stands up and waves me on the head for us away , I do not really know what to expect, I 'm in another room is like a coin arcade there where he there are lots of games x.

- Tell me why you have left ?

I'm uncomfortable, so to avoid looking him in the eyes I turn my head to find a landmark, this one and a dance game, I focus on him and I answer Liam, who is waiting for my answer

- I ... don't ... I did n't want it to be hard after I left.

He seems relaxed, I don't know what he's thinking

- Wait , you left me because for you the distance will be hard ? Ask Liam surprised

I wonder what he expects the right, and I let out a deep sigh, I wanted not to hurt him or anything, I just want him to be happy , but I confirms him have nodding, I see it from the corner of my eye, which raises its arms in the air.

- I knew it was a bad idea to go out with you

I just took the slap of the century, he didn't really want to go out with me, furious and not wanting to say things that would go beyond my thoughts, so I decided to leave and go home, or at least at home my father. I leave the room leaving Liam, I make a last round at the table saying that I cannot stay because of a problem, even if it is not entirely false, I have a problem , but I do not think not that he could manage, but it's my fault, I agreed to go out with Liam, when I knew that at some point or another I would have to go home. But I take advantage of walking home to my father.