Two Boys Learning

20. Disbelief

When Will walked into his living room where his mom sat, reading a book, a desolate look on his face, Jess knew immediately something was up,

"Hey, bud," she said cautiously. "How was your day?"

Will stared at her, a muscle feathering in his jaw. "Ash," he said slowly, carefully, the word causing his almost physical pain, "is no longer my boyfriend."

Jess inhaled. "Oh, baby," she said. "I'm so sorry."

Will looked down, then slumped into a chair and covered his eyes with his arm. "I don't know, Mom," he said, his voice breaking. "I don't know what to do. Dad always got drunk and then when I came home and you were drunk too I thought, oh no, not this again, because--because I didn't want it to happen again, I didn't want to have to clean up mess after mess and I always thought, I don't know, that I'd find some man out there who loved me for my broken dad and mom I didn't know, and I really thought that Ash would be the one, but--" His voice broke again, and tears streamed down his face and he leaned forward, covering his face in his hands and sobbing.

I hate this. Dammit, I hate this--

"Hey, baby," Jess said, coming over and sitting next to him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Hey. Shhh, just let it out." She was quiet for a moment, and then she said, "I'm so sorry, Will. I didn't...I didn't even think. I was just..." She held him tighter. "I'm sorry."

Will didn't answer. He didn't want to. He didn't want to disappoint her, didn't want to make himself look like any less of a man than he was by crying. He only turned his face into her shirt, trying to stop his tears.

~ ~ ~

I can't believe I thought I loved you.

Ash stared at nothing, wrapped in his blankets in his room, the door locked. His dad had come home late, drunker than he'd ever been, and Ash's stomach still hurt from the way his father had hit him. He also had a deep purple bruise on his cheekbone that he knew wouldn't go away overnight.

He didn't want to move. It hurt to think about Will, but that was the only thing he seemed to be able to think about. It hurt to move. It hurt to do anything.

Tears slid down his cheeks. He shouldn't have believed me, Ash thought. He should've asked me if I--

Ash stopped that train of thought in its tracks. He knew that he wouldn't have done anything. He was too scared of his dad.

He inhaled slowly, grimacing at the pain in his ribs. Oh, Will, he thought, trying hard not to cry. If he cried, then it would put him in more pain. I'm so sorry...

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Sorry this chapter is so short! I've been rlly busy. Came out to my parents. Ugh. Didn't go so well.

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Q: Ever seen the movie Penelope? 

A: Definitely. One of the best, in my opinion, but that's also probably because James McAvoy is in it.